Turning 40 has brought on a whirlwind of activity for me. As many of our women readers know, our doctors ask us to get a baseline mammogram at 40 unless there has been one taken earlier. After I had this simple procedure done, I did not think anymore about the issue. Absolutely nothing until I received a phone call asking me to return for more tests. “We see masses on both sides and want to further explore what they are.” I immediately began to pray and called some of my “life sisters” to join me.
Through the night, I felt my old self start the worry process. “God, if this isn’t cancer, I’ll... (eat more vegetables, drink more water, exercise more, pray more, blah blah, add your stuff here.....) Until finally in the stillness of my quiet time, “The Lord spoke and said, ‘Stop! My grace is sufficient.’”
This is exactly where I landed and fell into my place of peace. I told God, “I will choose to praise you no matter what the results. No matter what this looks like. I will honor you and bring glory to Your name.” Interestingly enough, on my husband’s run that morning he said, “God, we ask that this is not cancer, but we will honor you no matter what.” And that choice, my friends, is where we stood in truth in the midst of a potential storm.
Fortunately our worries were laid to rest with a simple word, “Benign.” I could hardly wait to run away, afraid the radiologist would change her mind. As I texted my “life sisters” and my husband, we all cried our praises to the Lord. As Eric and I have reflected on this situation, knowing the outcome could have changed our lives forever, we realize that it actually did anyway: we know this: the desire of our hearts-the choice we make-no matter the storm is to praise.
You may say, “Well, it turned out the best for you,” and, thankfully, you are right and praise the Lord. But as we look closely at every situation that life tosses our way, we have the choice to praise our Heavenly Father: no matter the outcome.
The other big step we are taking as a family is that our oldest child just turned 16 and has gotten his license to drive. This alone can send me into a tizzy, but as he pulled out of the driveway last night for the first time by himself. I told God, “I had no control over my health, despite my best efforts, and I have no control over my son’s driving. I have done my best; and I stand here in front of you, God, completely out of control. Once again, the peace of the Lord fill my heart.”
As I see the theme of my life for the past few weeks, I continue to say, “I have no control over anything, but I will pray and trust in God’s plan for my family and health.” We are tempted to revert to our human nature that tells us we need to be in control over everything and, clearly, if you are like me, it’s a struggle: however, when we become Christians, we bend the knee of total surrender to Jesus. Our challenge is to stay focused on the One True God and be filled with the Peace of the Holy Spirit.
My Prayer: God, thank you for good results of my tests. I realize that my control issues will never thwart your plans. I surrendered to you many years ago, and continue to surrender to you today. Holy Spirit, thank you for reminding me that Your Grace is sufficient. I rest at that place of peace: at the foot of the cross. Jesus, thank you for demonstrating the ultimate sacrifice of surrendering to God’s Will. We praise you and choose to honor your Holy name! In Jesus’ name!