my wings are made of faith

ESTABLISH YOUR HEART - Part II

This week, I noticed a small pocket-sized Hallmark calendar lying in the floor under my computer desk.  I realized I must have dropped it from the old Bible that I sometimes flipped through lately, seeking guidance for the blogs.  That old Bible was one my husband gave me before he went to Vietnam, and was worn to the point that the pages are falling apart.  I am so afraid of it sliding out of the leather cover and having to sort the pages, that I don’t look through it extensively, so I had not remembered the little calendar that lay hidden in its pages.  I knew the calendar was old, but I had no idea how old until, I thought, “I really need to pick that up and not let it get torn up, because I must have kept it for some reason.” Thinking it was a budget that I must have made and kept because the Lord had blessed us for some reason, I considered for a moment that I could just toss it.  “One less thing for my children to be bothered with one day.” Then I turned it over and was aghast that I almost tossed it without thinking twice!  It was for 1971, and when I opened it, I read: “January 14, 8:30, Bob Hope Christmas Special.”  My head began to spin.  I had a record of the date that I was going to watch the “Bob Hope Christmas Special?”  Jimmy was going to be his driver – IN VIETNAM!  I was going to watch it so I could see him – Jimmy that is.  Actually see him alive and well in Vietnam. Newly married only weeks before he left, I longed to just see him any way I could. It had been several months since he left, and I just wanted to see his face.

 We have told this story over and over because in the end, as Mr. Hope exited the helicopter and my husband reached to point for him to take the jeep ride, Mr. Hope declined, deciding to walk instead. And all I was able to see was my husband’s hand and arm just above his watch, for it was all the camera caught on the TV, before they cut away. I would know that hand and watch anywhere, but it was all I got to see of him.  My heart sank.  But I had marked the date, and I had seen that he was alive and well on that date. I had established in my heart that point in time, to see the one who was gone from me and of whom I was longing to see return again.  Just a glimpse but it gave me hope of the day he would come home. How I longed for that day.  I thought how interesting that Mr. Hope’s name was “hope” as I scanned the pages of the datebook. I almost cried, for it seemed only yesterday… 

Jan. 18 – mailed Jimmy package

Feb. 12 – Lincoln’s birthday, Send Jimmy package

Feb. 18 – Jimmy called from NAM

Feb. 21 – PRAY  Time: 10:00 P.M. PRAY  (obviously a night spent wondering if he was wounded, and he was on one of those prayer dates. But that’s another story.) …

April 8-9 - Good Friday - Jimmy should be home, with a line drawn through it.   April 11 - Easter

Two more long weeks….

April 26 – (circled..) Jimmy’s coming , with an arrow pointing backwards to  the day before <===…

April 25 – Jimmy arrived 7:24 A.M. on Eastern………..!!!!!!!!!  (R &R)

April 28 – Dr. Bradford – ( sick??? LOL)

May 5 – Jimmy left, 8:45 A.M. (tour of duty not over) back to Vietnam.

May 15 – Armed Forces Day

June 8 – Mailed Jimmy Package today

June 14 – Flag day

June 15 – Dr. Bradford, 1:45

June 20 – Father’s Day, (how I wished he would be able to call.)

July 4 – Independence Day

July 14 – Dr. Bradford

July 16 – Jimmy called this morning!

July 27 – 100 days to go

From this point on each day was marked 99, 98, 97, etc. as we counted down the days, and I mailed him one more package, my birthday and his passed, Labor Day and Columbus Day, Doctor visits, Veterans Day and Halloween eventually passed. But on Veterans Day the number of days left was 10. On Halloween, 5 – 4, 3, 2, 1, and FINALLY, on November 5, a Friday, in red letters – No More Nam. 

Service members back then kept a "short timer’s" calendar, so as I marked my days so did he.  They were considered the most dangerous days of any soldier’s stay, because they had a difficult time staying focused on the dangers instead of the hope of going home, yet they were encouraged to keep the calendar for the hope of that wonderful day.   Jimmy still had just a few more days before he was released from service once he was home, and he once again left us, flying to Colorado just before Christmas.  Given an “early out”, however, on December 14, 1971, it says – Jimmy released from service.

I hope I didn’t bore you with the exact reading.  But may I say, that just reading it, makes my heart pound remembering the anticipation and fears, and finally the thankfulness to have him home.  It was established in our hearts, that there was a day when he would come home.  We looked anxiously for that day.  Looking back, I see my own life a type of waiting on our savior’s return.  The doctor visits were due to the fact that I was also counting down the days to our first child…I can tell you the day he became a living soul, just as I can tell you the day I was born into the family of God.  There is a time and a place when each became a fact of my life.

Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain. You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. James 5:7-8.

Friends, there is a day marked on the calendar which only God can see, and there is a point when he will begin the count down for the day, when he will gather his bride to himself.  Christ will come from his faraway land, and when he comes he still has things to do before he establishes his reign.  And there will be a thousand years still on this earth when he will be our King.  He too will fight a great battle, and gloriously defeat our enemy.  Then, we are promised a time of peace, and of great things happening on this earth. 

Let no one tell you he isn’t coming. Let no one tell you it is the end of the world!!!  It is the one thing that the Saints who lived in the years soon after Christ's death and resurrection, wanted so much that they had difficulty being patient. The longing in their hearts was much like the longing in my heart for my beloved husband to return.  But they were told to be like a farmer, waiting on his crops to bring a yield in due season.  Their comfort was to be found living in a simple phrase, “Establish your hearts!”

God is also waiting on that day!  For him the countdown is on.  I wish every soul on earth would be ready for that day.  I wish every saint and child of God would have a calendar on their hearts that is also counting down the days.  Longing for the appearance of our KING to come for his bride.

Establish the day in your hearts.  Then think of how much it means to you.  When were you most impatient?  What in your life did you long for with bated breath, marking the days? Have you established that whether it is, in your lifetime or not, there is a day marked on the calendar of God.  And we must wait, and ready the harvest.

Lord, the tools are ours, the time is ours, the souls are our loved ones, and the time is certain.  Help us be expecting you with the love of one who awaits, with great desire, the return of someone they love, or like a mother awaiting the birth of her child, or a Bride, her wedding.  Help us establish this truth in our hearts.  May our expectation be with patience and with hope, and help us while we wait to “establish our Hearts.” AMEN

ESTABLISH YOUR HEART

As the friends, disciples and family of Jesus began to miss him, they wanted his return to be very soon.  Many of them died, wondering secretly I am sure, “Why had he not returned as he promised.”  Generation after generation has been told of his second coming, and when we begin to love him as a brother, we too often long for his presence on earth.  And as there have always been, there are skeptics who laugh at the notion of his coming again…especially, of it being soon.

We can relate to how the early Christian community wanted to see him.  As our loved ones pass into a spiritual realm, we miss them.  If we could bring them back, we wouldn’t bring them back to sickness and pain. But if they could come back to good health and appreciative loved ones, we might want to spend time with them on earth just once more.  But Jesus’s coming would be amazing, and those who knew him well were anxious for it to be in their lifetime.  We may never be able to relate as well as they to hoping for his soon return.  Some on earth that I have known, have longed for his soon return that they might escape the pain and suffering in their lives.  That isn’t the attitude the Lord would have us take.  He would have us establish our hearts.

Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain. You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. James 5:7-8.

The admonition to be patient, for the coming of the Lord is at hand, which James gave the brethren, is not only a great comment on waiting for the Lord’s second coming, but on waiting on the Lord in general.  He compares it to the farmer waiting on the rains and the forming of the fruit, expecting a harvest.  God himself practices this principle as he waits for the very last Christian to come to fullness, and be ready for the harvest of the souls.  Does God fully expect that there will someday be a large harvest?  Absolutely.  Every farmer who plants makes the investment believing that he will have a yield. So he waits on it.  He knows it takes time; that his harvest will depend on the elements and environment to provide a bountiful return.  A healthy baby requires that the seed planted must come to nearly full term so that it doesn’t begin life with a struggle to survive.  Does a farmer count the weeks, much as a mother would?  Yes.  Do we mark on our calendars expecting the day certain things will come to fruition? We do. That is what is meant by establishing it in our hearts.  It is like marking it on the calendar of time to be harvestable on a date in the future.  Establish your hearts, when waiting on the Lord.  

In 1971, my husband was in Vietnam, waiting on the fullness of his tour to come, and he wanted it to be soon.  But since the end of the war was not imminent, he would have to, as all the others would, wait until his “tour of duty” came full term.  There was a day set that he could say, “I have fulfilled my commitment, now take me home.”   It was a day that he anticipated with all his heart. He established in his heart that this day would certainly come, if the Lord allowed him to remain alive. He and I both marked the days on calendars with great expectancy and a great deal of prayer.   

I am going to split my story in two parts this week.  On Friday I will tell you more about the longing of the heart to have something happen to the point of finding it almost impossible to be patient and wait on the Lord.  But let us contemplate what it means to consider the farmer who waits on his crop, believing it will come to fruition, or he would not bother to plant it.  Can we establish our hearts in times when we are waiting on the Lord?  Count the days while we ready the fields, plant the seed, water the crops, and till out the weeds?  Can we be about the business of doing what we believe to be fruitful in the end, and find our patience in establishing our hearts upon a date that will come in God’s own time? Can we mark an invisible calendar, whose dateline says “Only God knows the day; but he holds my future.  So I will mark the date in my heart, to be a sure and expected end.”

Lord Help us to be like the farmer when we wait upon you… and help us find the true meaning of how to “establish our hearts.” AMEN  

Please join me Friday for Part II

In the days just before, during and after the death and resurrection of Christ Jesus, there were a lot of reasons to believe that all was lost, and everything they had hoped for was null and void.  The momentem of healings and miracles had come to a complete halt and left them with a long list of "WHY"s.   The disciples and friends of Jesus were caught in the emotions and fears of what was happening...until...

Jesus left them with scriptures he had quoted and explained from the old promises of God.  He had reminded them of how those scriptures applied to himself, and how the promises of God had a time and a place to be fulfilled.  It was when they began to say, "Jesus said..." that their hearts were lifted, to hope that this was not an end to the promises of God, but a beginning to a new way to serve God as the promises were fulfilled. It included them, secured them, and gave them hope. 

They needed to get past the emotional trauma of circumstances and be able to think about the words of Christ for things to start making sense.  The promise to them was that they would receive the Spirit and a new era of life would begin.  We need to remember that the fulfilment of promises comes AFTER a sequence of events, in which the will of God has been done. When death and sorrow and unexpected pain take our eyes off the promises, it is time to return to the Words of our Savoir, where we find promises for our future.  Think how bleak it must have seemed to his disciples and friends.  Now compare your hardest times in life.  Similar, no doubt.  Filled with fear, and overwhelming losses, and walls of confusions that were difficult to see over.  Where do you look for truth, or renewed confidence?  To the promises.   

For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise~ Hebrews 10:36

I believe it is a good idea to keep a filebox, or a certain color of markings in your bible, or a book of verses which contains the promises handy.  Know the promises of God.  If you have never considered that God has promises for you consider this verse:

 Now we, brethren, as Isaac was, are children of promise. Galatians 4:28

The word promise is one worth months of study. Seeking the promises that we may claim, may carry  us through our hardest circumstances in life, because no matter what is happening in life, God still must keep his promises.

This week was a week of rainbows for me, the symbol of God's promise to Noah.  The song, "STANDING ON THE PROMISES" has been quietly running like a stream under my thoughts. God desires to give us all a future and a hope.  And that's a promise.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

I have a promise I want to claim.  I am going to post it where I can see it often.  And I am going to watch the process of the will of God play out, and do all I can to keep this promise foremost in my mind, until God's time is complete, and this promise he gave me is fulfilled.   Are you asking God for intervention and blessing? Find a promise, his promise to you...and never forget that God keeps his promises in due time.

Lord, I believe that, like with Abraham and Sarah, the unusual and the miraculous is not out of the realm of being fulfilled if it is your promise.  But I am not asking for a miracle, just the change that your promises bring. Accepting your promise as if it were already fulfilled. In Jesus Name. AMEN

 

 

 

When life circumstances are a burden too heavy to carry—pray!

“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.—Luke 22:42-44

i read these verses the other day and i haven't been able to stop thinking about them since. The courage, heart, emotion, and strength of Jesus to be able to say these words—wow— i can't even begin to tell you how much they encourage me. Jesus submits completely to the Father. When Jesus is tired and overcome with emotion, God sends an angel to strengthen Him. And, even though the pain seemed too much to bear, making it easy to want to give up, He didn't stop praying. Scripture tells us that he prayed more earnestly, knowing deep down that God had a beautiful plan for His life. 

We can learn so much from Jesus in just these couple verses. 
• When we submit to God's will the outcome is always good, even though parts of our journey are difficult.
• God knows when the load we are carrying is too heavy to carry alone. He sends Jesus and angels to lighten the burden.
• Even though life gets difficult and it's easy to throw in the towel, God wants us to persevere, He helps us move through the dark valley. It may seem like prayers are not being answered, but now is not the time to stop praying. We must pray our way all the way through the valley. And every day we might need to pray a little harder than the day before. But, rest assured, the Lord answers prayers! We have to trust Him and wait patiently for Him.

Don't give up, don't ever give up. The Lord has so many beautiful plans for your life. Pray harder and rest in His arms—it's safe there.

Jesus, thank you for allowing us to read about one of your most vulnerable life moments. We find ourselves in these situations often, but it's hard to see a way out. You show us a way out, though. We can be encouraged by your courage, strength, and your heart to serve the Father.  This scripture is a reminder that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. 

Sitting in God's Waiting Room

For the past two years, I’ve been waiting on God.  I’ve felt His presence, I’ve sensed His leading, I’ve been in the Word and in communion with Him, but I’ve been waiting on a couple of areas of my life to come around to reveal His will and plan.  Sometimes the God’s waiting room is crowded with the companionship of fellow sojourners and sometimes it’s lonely and quiet.  

There have been times in the past two years when I’ve busied myself with good things like studying and praying and other times when I’ve felt sorry for myself and pouted a bit.

Psalm 27:14 says,

“Wait for the Lord;

be strong and take heart

and wait for the Lord.”

In other words, don’t let the waiting drag you into depression, but allow it to strengthen you.

Isaiah 40:31 says, 

“But those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.”

This is God’s plan for the times in our lives spent in His waiting room: serve, hope, and worship.  These key elements build up our strength so that when He reveals His plan we are ready to go.

My Prayer:  God, thank you for reminding me that I need to keep focused on you while I am waiting.  I choose to serve and worship you every day especially while I’m waiting on your plan to be revealed.  Thank you for the strength that will rise as I wait for you. I pray for your Holy Spirit to encourage every person who reads this that is waiting on you.  In Jesus Name!

 

God Never Wastes The Bad Stuff

There have been many times in the last few years when i questioned God - WHY did He let me go through such difficult trials and pain. i could never fully understand His purpose when i could barely keep my head above water. It was easy to doubt God's plan when i struggled to hold onto Hope. But i have to tell you, when you get a glimpse of His ultimate plan, it is a beautiful thing. i see it so clearly now and i can look back at very specific trials and the way He was preparing me for the road ahead. 

i remember praying many times that God would not let all the heartache and struggles go to waste. i prayed for Him to mold me, teach me, allow me to help others - to make my life meaningful so that i can be a blessing. That prayer has been answered very specifically in the last few months. Just in the last week, i've had the pleasure of talking with two dear friends who are going through difficult seasons. 

All the bad stuff, the trials and the hurt, if only we could see at the time how God will use it for good ... gosh, we'd patiently endure all the junk for His glory. The stuff that was meant for evil, He promises to turn it into something good. 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.—Romans 8:28

i love how God can take the messed up, shattered, ugly moments of our life and make them beautiful and have purpose. Beauty from ashes. 

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.—Psalm 34:8

It is my prayer that you know that your life has purpose—far beyond what you will ever know or see. 

Lord, thank you that you never let a single moment of my life go to waste. You use ever part of it for your glory. 

A prayer for a Godly husband

Shortly after the realization that i was getting divorced, i think the biggest emotional hurdle for me was fear. Fear of being in my 30s and single. It wasn't really the fear of being alone, because i have a relationship with the Lord and i have such an amazing group of supportive family and friends. It was the fear of not having a family, not being able to trust someone with my heart again, and fear of the dating game. 

It didn't take long for God to calm my fears because i stayed focused on Him. Fear is a lie, a lie from the enemy saying that God isn't good and that He won't give us the desires of our heart. Now, i just patiently rest in Him.

i came across this Facebook note that a friend posted about a month ago. It's pretty close to the same prayer that i have been praying for months. To the divorced, single, widowed— this prayer is for you. Claim God's promises for a Godly husband in the name of Jesus and wait on the Lord to provide the desire of your heart. (Take some time to click through to the related scriptures)

Prayer for a Godly husband

Lord God, your Word declares that if I delight myself in you—if I enjoy and seek your pleasure above mine—you'll give me the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4). Desiring a husband is neither evil nor selfish because marriage is honorable (Hebrews 13:4). At the beginning of creation, you proclaimed, "It is not good that man should be alone" and then you created Eve to be a suitable partner for Adam (Genesis 2:18). In the name of Jesus, I ask that you would protect the husband—a suitable partner—you have chosen for me. Because the covenant of marriage is sacred (Mark 10:9), I ask for a man of God. Please give me a husband whose love for me is only outmatched by his love for you; a man who will cherish me and build me up (Proverbs 31:28); a man who will honor me (I Peter 3:7) and our marriage vows; a man who will be a good father and provider; a man whom I will be attracted to physically, emotionally, and spiritually; a man who will love me as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Keep me from attaching myself to another man out of desperation. I will not settle for a relationship that's second best, convenient, or one that feeds my insecurities. Guard my purity and give me the patience to wait. And when I meet him, confirm to me that he is the one. Release from me the baggage of past relationships, and prepare me for the man You have chosen to be my husband. Free me from any hindrances to a healthy and godly marriage: insecurities, habitual sins, selfishness, and emotional hurts. Dispel my unrealistic expectations that set me up for disappointment. I place my trust in you rather than my partner. In this period of waiting, I will look to you alone to be my companion and best friend. You are the one who redeems my life from the pit, who crowns me with love and compassion, who satisfies my desires with good things (Psalm 103:4-5). I will not be anxious, but as I present my requests to you, flood me with the peace that surpasses all understanding so my heart and my mind are guarded in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6,7). In this request, I commit myself to trust you and do good, to dwell in the land and feed on your faithfulness. I commit my way to you and trust that you will bring it to pass (Psalm 37:35). Amen.
—Evangelist Constance Fleming

 

God is so very, very good.

Pursuing the Proverbs: Day 6

God wants to provide guidance for us that we might be able to get through life easier, safer, healthier, wiser, and having built good character. In the Proverb today, the phrase “reproofs of instruction are the way of life” refers to discipline.  Our minds sometimes jump to the emotional reactions that come with discipline and we withdraw and wince. But the whole verse conveys a more pleasant picture than painful discipline. 

Today's reflection: God prefers that we use the law and commandments as a means of lighting our way so we can easily stay on the path.  Ever thought about walking a path in darkness? We naturally are deterred from getting off the path if we can’t see what’s there. Instincts and experience tell us that getting off the path in the dark will get us lost.  This is the image God would have us visualize. He would have us fear to get off his path more than fear staying on his path.  We have it backwards when we are afraid of where the Lord would lead us.  Or fear that we might fall or fail to get there when he is lighting our way.

God’s plan will shed light on only a small section of the path at a time.  We seldom visually see to the destination, rather, just the section of the path where we must walk our next steps.  God wants us to not become overwhelmed on His path.   Take life a few steps at a time. Seek to know the destination, if he allows, but don’t stress about not being there yet. 

On our “birdcount” this weekend, my husband and I did some “owling,” (seeking out and counting owls,) in the dark.  We park along roads where the habitat is right, and we play a tape, which is a recording of a screech owl’s calls. This is a small owl, usually less than 12 " tall. Several kinds of owls will respond to the tape, hoping to warn the presumed "intruder" of territory bounderies.  When we hear them call in response to the tape, we can count them, because we know which owls have which calls. My husband and some of our birding friends cannot hear certain bird calls.  This weekend, the little screech owls needed to be very close for him to be able to hear their low, very soft, “bounce call.” To put them on his personal list, he needed to hear them if not see them.  So he was patient and listened for them to come in very close. Often, with a flashlight, we can also see them.  Sometimes, just after dawn, we get good looks at them.  And it’s a good thing, because they seldom call after dawn. In this instance, we stand still and let the birds come to us.  Sometimes, when God seems not to be shining his light on our path, his instruction is clear: stand still and listen for his still small voice. Or wait for the dawn, the point in time when he will enlighten the wonders along his path.

Today’s Prayer: Jesus, I have wasted a lot of time in my life stressing over not seeing the path in minute detail.  I don’t know why it fractures me so, when I know you are in control, to not see all the way down the path to the destination. I know I fail miserably sometimes at taking life in smaller segments. I ask forgiveness for the wasted energy and time that I could have spent joyfully awaiting your light for my path. I could have embraced the silence in this noisy world while listening for your warnings that I am in someone else’s territory.  Maybe you called like the little owl, and I had a deaf ear, and didn’t wait for you to draw near, and intently listen. Forgive me, and come close, Lord, and call a little louder, please, like the little owls who heard our recorded call. Most of all, please help me not to be the broken record, like my tape just calling over and over, begging you to come near.  When I stop the "tape", help me paitiently listen. Open the eyes of my heart like the dawn, as I search your word, and let the commandments be my flashlight and your law be my morning sun. If all you desire me to have is a look where the tiny focus of the flashlight is aimed, then help me to rejoice in what you are letting me see. Glory to your name. AMEN

For more wisdom read Chapter 6 of Proverbs.

Ever Felt "WALKED ON"

Believe this:

Claim this:    (As you relate to the people of Israel)

Thus sayeth thy Lord the Lord, and thy God that pleadeth the cause of his people, Behold, I have taken out thine hand the cup of trembling…thou shalt no more drink it again.

But I will put it into the hand of them that afflict thee; which have said to thy soul, Bow down, that we may go over; and thou hast laid thy body as the ground, and as the street to them that went over. Isaiah 51: 22-23

Awake, awake; put on thy strength…put on thy beautiful garments…Shake thyself from the dust… Isaiah 52: 1-2

Be assured by this:

…my people shall know my name: they shall know in that day that I am He that speaks; behold it is I. Isaiah 52:6

Pray this:

Lord, I believe and claim what you have promised.  I am assured that you are speaking to my heart, and I accept the promise and obey.  I arise from the position of letting this happen to me, and put on my strength which you give, I shake off the dust, and dress myself as if it never happened.  Lord I ask… and receive and open the door to newness… Help me as I choose to love my offender. Amen.

And Do this:

If ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? For sinners also love those that love them… Luke 7:32  But love your enemies, and do good…vs 35.  (See also: Proverbs 25:21 – 22 on how to do this.)

Remember this:

As for the head of those that compass me about, let the mischief of their own lips cover them. Psalms 140: 9

And this:

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me.

The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me…Psalm 138: 7 – 8 

Realize this:

 The Lord never asks us to deal with people who walk on us, until he first allows that we are able to rise up from the dirt, dust ourselves off, put on our strength, and dress ourselves with beauty.  And then he promises that he WILL deal with them. It is one of the “opposites of God” precepts that we allow God to fight our battles. Though we don’t understand sometimes –

Accept this:

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55: 8-9

 

Honor God in this, and watch and wait….See what the hand of the Lord can do!

Guest Post: Thankful in Every Season

When Christy invited me to write a guest post for Thanksgiving week, I thought it would be a good time to reflect on this season and all God is teaching me.

And then I thought, what better way to start a Thanksgiving-themed post, than with a little list of things I’m currently thankful for? ;)

So, without further ado…

In this season, I’m thankful for:

  * Learning more about who God created me to be
 * Being part of an incredible church family and learning what it really means to be the church
* Time to explore my art
* The dreams God has been placing on my heart
* And, even though I have to admit that I don’t always feel thankful for this one: the ways God is challenging me to grow in my faith

The reason I said I don’t always feel thankful for that last one on my list is because, although in hindsight, we can often view seasons of growth with appreciative eyes, it’s much harder when we’re experiencing them. Those challenges can add depth and meaning to our lives and our stories, though, and God can use them to shape us into the people He knows we are in the process of becoming. 

***

Lately, one of the major ways God has been challenging me to grow in my faith is in the area of singleness.

As I wrote about in this post on my blog, the truth is, if I’m honest, I certainly thought by this point in my life I’d be engaged or married — or at least dating that person.

But to quote from a book I recently read by Shauna Niequist, “Life with God at its core is about giving your life up to something bigger and more powerful. It’s about saying at every turn that God knows better than we know, and that His Spirit will lead us in ways that we couldn’t have predicted.”

Those words bring me so much comfort and hope, because God certainly knows better than I know, and He can do immeasurably more than I could ever ask or even imagine. 

The other night, as I was reading my Bible, I came across this note in the margin: “Lack of trust in God prevents us from receiving His best.” I’ve been thinking about that ever since I read it, because I think when we’re restless for something to change in our lives, this can be especially hard to remember. Trusting comes more easily when all is going smoothly or as we thought it would/should, right? But it’s in the midst of uncertainty that our faith and trust is so important. This is the time that our faith can really shine for others. And it’s the time that it does something amazing in our own hearts, as well, and opens us up even more to who God is and all He is capable of doing in our lives.

When I get restless in the waiting, I remind myself that each chapter in my story is important. When I start thinking about the fact that my story has been written especially for me by my loving Creator, I feel encouraged and even excited. I start noticing the everyday blessings more and thinking about how the challenges are shaping me and adding to the story I have to tell. 

My prayer for you is that no matter what your story looks like right now, no matter what chapter you find yourself in, that you would celebrate it. I pray that your heart would be encouraged by the fact that your story is beautiful and important and uniquely yours.

xo,   
K

Nailing Fear to the Cross

 

About a month ago, I saw an intriguing quote on Facebook that said, “I will not be a casualty of fear.”  Regretfully I am unable to name the profound author; and it has taken me this long to churn this thought around and ask Jesus to shed some light for us.

The definition for casualty is “An accident, especially one involving serious injury or loss of life.”  Isn’t that exactly what fear does?  Fear grips us in such a vice that we are unable to move except in a strangulation response to its tightly wound shackles.  This cannot be abundant joy filled living!

2 Timothy 1:7 says,

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

This verse tells me that when I am operating out of fear, I am NOT making decisions with power, love, and sound mind.  In other words, I am relying on my emotions to define my thoughts.  The challenge is simply admitting to God that we are scared (He knows anyway, right?) and then choosing to turn those fears over to Him even if we have to a million times a day.

Fear of “what could happen” makes us sick and anxious. Jan Silvious says, “What if’s don’t exist, so don’t even go there.”  

In other words, we need to get a grip on our thoughts.  2 Corinthians 10:5 says,

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

The enemy would choose for us to be crippled with fear so that we are unable to fulfill our missions in expanding the Kingdom.  A practical idea is to make a “fear list” and just write down every thought that is making us scared or fearful.  Then we can write beside it a promise from God’s word or the facts of the situation beside it-replacing the lies with precious truths.  We will no longer lose ground to the enemy but take back what was stolen from us.  Verse by verse we can nail our fears to the cross. 

You may be like me and say, “But what if I do all of this and the worst case scenario happens?”  The fact is that it probably won’t, but what do we do if it does?  

I attended church with a godly woman named, Cindy, and she had breast cancer once, but then found out that it was back in other places with a vengeance.  She was a teacher and taught until she knew that she could no longer be with her kids.  Cindy underwent chemotherapy and radiation treatments as long as she could.  Toward the end of her precious life, I have a vivid memory of seeing her in the balcony of our church with her hat on and hands lifted in the air praising God with everything in her.  

I guess the answer to our question is that: if the worst case scenario comes, we will praise God anyway.  We will praise our Creator and Lord, with every bit of our hearts until we are no longer on this earth.  No, we will not be a casualty of fear, but a demonstration of abundant life right up to the end.

My Prayer:  God, I admit to you that sometimes I am so scared of the situations that life throws at me.  Thank you, Father, for being in control of every circumstance I will ever face.  Spirit of Fear, you are not welcome here.  Go to the foot of the cross and stay there.  God, replace my fears with truths carefully defined by You and help me stay in the mindset of taking every thought captive to Your obedience.  I choose to nail my fears to the cross and live my life abundantly.  In Jesus powerful name!

Dogged Determination

As I write this blog post, I’ve been nursing a cold for two days in my sweatpants  and alternating between drinking hot tea and cold smoothies.  My voice is gone-I mean that it’s really gone and when I speak I sound like a goose honking which is not very conducive for teaching Kindergarten.  

Yesterday as I was having a bit of a pity party, I began talking to the Lord about my attitude and sickness and I said, “Why now?  Why me?  I really don’t have time for this.”  As I was reading a Christian article, I came across a statement that went something like this, “Christians cannot ask God, ‘Why?’ in hard times if they didn’t ask Him, ‘Why?’ in victorious times.”

You see, I’ve been just plugging away at my life for a long time feeling pretty good about things without giving acknowledging that God is the giver of all good things.  I am not saying that God made me sick; only that maybe He allowed this quiet time for me to reflect on bigger things.

Sometimes I get very complacent when things are going well, but Isaiah 50:7 reminds me of my posture of determination that I am to have, 

“Because the Sovereign Lord helps me,

I will not be disgraced.

Therefore I have set my face like flint,

and I know I will not be put to shame.”

 I love the image of setting my face like flint.  What a difference it would make if we decided to attack life fearlessly with our faces set like flint!

Life has a way of throwing curveballs at us with our health, jobs, or homes.  Our challenge is to claim the victories of God’s Word with the determination of a confident fighter until the victory becomes reality.  

My Prayer:  God, thank you for allowing me time to reflect on your truths.  I confess to you that complacency is the enemy of victory.  Holy Spirit, remind me to and help me become determined and set my face like flint against life’s challenges.  Jesus, thank you for the example of determination that you showed at the cross.  In Jesus name!

 

 

Life Application: Put feet to your faith

Yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.—Isaiah 40:31

We want and we want it now.
We'll do anything to get it.
Waiting seems impossible.
We can't seem to live without it.
It doesn't matter whether or not it is God's will—our desire for it outweighs rational thought. 

Two things are bound to happen:
1. We get what we want, but it disappoints us in one way or another. Because it wasn't God's will, there will more than likely be consequences for not waiting.
2. We don't get what we want so badly and it leaves us in a place of heartache and hurt. 

Neither of these options seem worth reaching for things that are not God's best for us. Oh, but waiting is so very, very hard. But God asks that we trust Him enough to wait. Did you catch God's four promises to those who wait patiently on Him?

Yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.

Who would have thought that waiting could produce such good things? When we become impatient and seek things without waiting on God, we get anxious, tired, disappointed, frustrated, angry, and heartbroken. It is only when we wait and pray—patiently seeking the Lord's will and direction that we can claim his promises. While waiting for Him, joy, love, and hope exist abundantly. And, we can be confident in knowing that God's best for us is what we get when we come through the other side of waiting.

What is your it in your life right now? A new job? Spouse? Food? New car? Money? House? What is it that you are pursuing faster than God wants you to? Pray.Wait.Seek. God will give you the desires of your heart in His perfect timing. Yesterday, I posted to Facebook, God's delays are not denials. Wait patiently for the Lord to move. Move too quick and you'll end up making decisions you will regret. Wait for the Lord and He will not disappoint you.

A quest to find myself again

Twelve days ago, I left Cincinnati to find rest and to unwind from the strict routine my life has been stuck in. In this quest, I secretly hoped to find myself again—the person that was found everywhere but in herself. What I slowly realized is that I didn’t know how much of myself I really lost until I left Cincinnati and really took some time to focus on what was going on inside my heart.

Stepping outside of my world and looking in at everything that has been happening has been both an eye-opener and a full emotional release. What I have found is that I’ve let too many people shape who I am and control who I am becoming. It is clear that I haven’t been true to myself and somewhere along the way I ended up here. A tad lost and bit afraid. Where is my life headed?

Even though I feel a bit displaced and so uncertain about things to come, I see opportunity for a new beginning and a chance to uncover my buried heart, preparing for the love and life that I am about to experience—and this is enough to power through the loose ends that need tied up here. I thank God for His grace, perfect will, and perfect timing.

God really spoke to my heart the last several days in so many ways. I left Cincinnati not really caring if I ever came back, but I left the South with a heartache that physically made my heart hurt. It was like a whisper from God that said, home is where you heart is, and you’re not there yet.

This time away from Cincinnati was just what God ordered. It’s been a long time since I’ve laughed so hard my belly hurt, spent time with old friends and made some new ones, made peace with some things in my past, and found a little bit of myself. Words cannot express the joy I felt in the last 12 days, but I am hanging on to every memory as I look forward to more days like these. 

Things are changing in my life so fast. The divorce should be final by the end of the year and I just don’t have the slightest clue of what lies ahead. I’m flooded with emotion as I try to keep up and keep my focus on God, the only One who can steer my life in the right direction. And while I feel every emotion under the sun, the thing I continue to seek wholeheartedly is hope. Hope for a fresh start. Hope for finding a purpose. Hope for dreams come true. Hope for being the woman God created me to be. Hope for living a life that fears nothing but the Lord my God. 

The Pilgrimage

A few weeks ago, my family and I headed to the beach for a week. On our way I kept thinking, “I can’t wait until we are there!” Although I was looking forward to a week of relaxation, how much time did I waste looking toward my destination instead of the journey?

Psalm 84:5-7 says,

“Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they will make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.”

This is the foot note in my Bible: “The pilgrimage to the temple passed through the barren Valley of Baca. No specific valley has been identified with Baca. Because Baca can mean ‘weeping,’ it may have been a symbolic reference to the times of struggles and tears through which people must pass on their way to meet God. Growing strong in God’s presence is often preceded by a journey through barren places in our lives. The person who loves to spend time with God will see his or her adversity as an opportunity to re-experience God’s faithfulness. If you are walking through your own Valley of Baca today, be sure your pilgrimage leads toward God, not away from Him.”

As we take these verses apart a little, let’s examine the word, “blessed.” Blessed means happy but more than the emotion of being happy. Instead it carries a deeper meaning of being full of praise, honoring, or a contentment that brings happiness.

We see that the Israelites were on a journey and were going through a rough season or the Valley of Baca. From this Biblical example, I see that I can be blessed, happy, content, and peaceful during a difficult season of my life when I recognize that God is my strength. My outcome is often determined by my outlook.

You see our lives will have trouble. This is the result of living in a fallen world.

In John 16:33, Jesus says,

“I have told you these things, so that in my you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

As the Israelites were on their pilgrimage, they stopped from time to time at different bodies of water where they rested and regained their strength until they make it to The Lord Most High. It is imperative that we identify the places or times where we can rejuvenate in the Lord. This doesn’t mean we have to literally go anywhere, but we could simply rest in His presence with some praise music playing. Our blessing will fall on us when we are seeking, believing, and resting in God.

The last point is that we need to embrace the journey-even in the hardest places. Let’s face it, no one loves difficult times, but the lessons we can share and the empathy we can have with others is priceless. Recently, I went through a difficult season and I remember praying, “God, show me what I need to take from this and how I can help others.” Now I regularly speak with several women who are experiencing the same kinds of trials that I went through just a few short months ago. I find that they don’t feel guarded when sharing with me because I know exactly how they feel. There is not one tear wasted because it’s turned into ministry for other hurting people.

I pray that no matter what part of the pilgrimage you are on, you are seeking God. He is the giver of Hope and Life. You, my dear friend, are His child and He cares deeply for you.

My Prayer: Thank you, God, for reminding me that all seasons of my journey are victorious because of the hope you offer. I praise you for being my place of rest and rejuvenation even during my darkest hours. Jesus, thank you for overcoming the world and for giving us the perfect example to live by. Holy Spirit, remind me when my focus is on myself instead of you. Guard my heart so that it may not veer to the right or left. In Jesus Name!

CONFIDENCE - when God Blesses faith

While under siege by the great nation of Assyria, Hezekiah stood firm as the king over Judah, a mere remnant of the tribes of Israel which had not been overtaken by the wars around them. And when pressed to appease the encroaching armies, he sent all the gold from the Temple, and from the coffers of the King’s house. When there was nothing monetary left to keep them from attacking, he continued to trust in the God of his forefather, David.  Hezekiah had made a great sacrifice in giving this gold to Assyria, for it was he who had overlaid the temple doors with gold; and it was he who cut it back off to give to the Assyrian representatives. The work of his life had been undone. Hezekiah didn’t put confidence in his life’s work; nor did he cling to it, and protect it at all costs assuming it was the source for his future.

The Assyrian King sent 3 men with a great host of troops out of Lachish to Jerusalem. And when they arrived, their leader, Rabshakeh, sent a message to Hezekiah asking him: “Thus saith the Great King, the king of Assyria: What confidence is this wherein thou trustest?”(kjv)  They went on to assume it must be Egypt. They mocked that trusting Egypt was like leaning on a staff which was sharp on both ends. If Hezekiah’s people leaned on it, they would be stabbed by the end on which they leaned.  Placing doubt, the Assyrians hoped to destroy the confidence this little nation had, and hoped to take them without a fight. But Hezekiah did not trust in Egypt -a type of trusting in the people and things of this world.

 Rabshakeh continued to deride them, saying, don’t say you trust in your Lord, because Hezekiah has already given up the altars, and said this is what’s left in Jerusalem as an altar!  (As if the altar only had value if covered in gold.) Hezekiah didn’t place his confidence in his money, or the importance of his church. Hezekiah didn’t place his confidence in his church, nor in the place where he worshipped.

Rabshakeh also taunted – “you say, but they are vain words, ‘I have counsel and strength for war.’ On whom do you trust that you rebel against me?” He spoke with a false confidence believing nothing could stop the Assyrian armies, because nothing had so far. Hezekiah didn’t put his confidence in the circumstances that appeared to prove nothing could withstand the power of these great armies. But Rabshakeh had wisely asked, “On WHOM do you Trust.”  “What Confidence is this wherein you Trust?”  He expected them to boast that another army somewhere was forming against them, for the sake of job security. But Hezekiah was not seeking job security for his armies.

It was then that the Assyrian leader began to be diplomatic (or was it “deceitful.”) He offered 2000 horses if they would join him, seeking to know the numbers of men they expected to muster, but also hoping to turn them against their own king. He railed on Hezekiah’s men, in their own language, that they should not trust Hezekiah to protect them. He offered to take them to a land where there were great riches and plenty of food, if they would become his soldiers. He went on to say, "Don’t listen to Hezekiah when he says the Lord will deliver you, because the gods of all these other nations haven’t delivered them." He even went so far as to say, that he had come in the name of the Lord. That he was whom God was blessing, (and perhaps he believed it might be true in some twisted way.) But Hezekiah was not swayed by the deceiver who set lures for his men.

Hezekiah knew ON WHOM he believed!!!

When I taught children, I found it was important to give them Bible words to learn and understand.  A study of the word confidence, reveals that it doesn’t mean the same as faith. Confidence is a result of faith.  But also a result of trusting the promises of God. It has to do with knowing what you believe, with understanding.  Then acting on it - but only after praying to seek assurance God wants you to proceed.  Confidence isn’t something to boast of or give reasons for; it is an attitude of steadfastness. It is a jewel, a gift, and John told his followers to not give it up.  Confidence grows and strengthens as we read and understand God’s Word. Faith is as a grain of mustard seed, a tiny hope on which we place trust.  But confidence is when faith takes root and is watered and tended. Each new endeavor requires faith, a point in time when we first believe. But confidence is gained only when we have tested faith.  We fail to gain confidence when we misplace our faith. When we believe that money, jobs, church, friends, supporters, circumstances, politics or what appears to be truth in the eyes of the world are our reasons for feeling safe – we have misplaced our faith, and cannot grow confidence.  Faith in God’s promises, security, holiness, and truth alone is the fertile ground in which the seed of faith can grow. And when it has grown, let us prize it above all the things of this world that we might have confidence to leave the battles up to God.

Hezekiah didn’t gather an army against the Assyrians, but asked those about him to join him as he prayed.  Sometimes, it sounds like a broken record when we ask people to pray, but that is where acting on our confidence begins.  And funny thing…that action is often to wait on the Lord to take care of the matter. Why do we pray expecting God to give our battles back to us? Our confidence comes from allowing God to use His power to perform in our lives. Hezekiah knew this, and it is why he was called the greatest king that Judah ever had.

This story comes from II Kings 18. The verses concerning Rabshakeh asking in whom Hezekiah placed his trust are verses 19 and 20.  But this is the verse I want to leave with our readers, for Hezekiah warned his people not to respond to the deceiver:

But the people held their peace and answered him not a word, for the King’s commandment was, saying: “Anwer him not.” II Kings 18: 36 KJV

Who is calling on you today to defend your confidence? God says you don’t need to answer. Just know in whom, and understand what and why you believe.  So you can stand fast in confidence against all odds. Testimonies are for leading the lost to Christ. Not for defending God or ourselves. God can defend Himself and us.

Father, once again it is focus on you that remedies life’s hardest questions.  Help us to respond out of confidence, which allows us not to answer to the deceivers of the world.  All who rail against us, even those who say they come in Your name, who know they have everything all figured out, and have unparalleled resources and accusations with them. All those are no match for just focusing on You. And in our confidence, help us not to be quick to act, but let us wait upon your almighty power, and sometimes only upon your power. Though the world screams loudly about us, sometimes you just want us to do nothing except pray, leaving the results up to You. Instead of responding to the din of the world, help us not be “should, ought must Christians.”  Rather help us know the difference, to be Confident Christians. AMEN

(P.S. Sometimes the railing assailant really wants our testimony because they are seeking a Christ.  If we share Christ rather than defend Christ, our words become a path to Christ.)

 

Write it down

A few years ago, I taught sixth grade and, as many of you know, middle schoolers tend to forget everything.  A former colleague used to wisely say, “Write it down.  Paper doesn’t forget.”  It makes me chuckle now because even though paper doesn't forget, it can be lost in a backpack, locker, or lunchroom.

Several years ago, I began keeping a prayer journal.  It’s nothing formal-just a record of my prayers, hopes, dreams, letters to God, and responses from the Lord.  My journals ebb and flow with life’s demands and sometimes have many entries and other times have sparse gaps.

 Habakkuk 2:2 says,

"Then the Lord replied: Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets....”

This year, I ventured out to a couple of new pages that are continuous: a Blessings page where I list as many blessings I can recall and a Dreams page where I wish, pray, and dream within God’s will.  I have also found that writing my concerns and prayers allows me to lay them at God’s feet and permits me to cease worrying.

There are times that I write my ideas and prayers and, as I lay them at the foot of the cross, I forget about them.  After I revisit my journal after a period of time, I am amazed to see at how many the Lord has carefully answered His way and in His time.

There’s nothing magical about my journals or the words I write in them, except that I’m pouring my heart out to God.  They are a visual reminder of my walk and a record of my testimony.  My prayer journals are simply my way of casting all my anxiety on the Lord.

I Peter 5:7 says, 

 
“Cast all your anxiety of Him because He cares for you.”

My Prayer:  God, I thank you for hearing my prayers no matter if they are written or spoken.  Lord, how I enjoy looking back and seeing all that you’ve done in my life through my prayer journals.  Thank you for being a faithful God.  I choose to lay my burdens, wishes, hopes, worries, and dreams at the foot of the cross.  I pray for your will for my life.  In Jesus name.

Tempered Like Gold

 
I was watching a jewelry presentation on new technologies in tempering gold, which produced an effect on gold threads, which allowed the gold to stretch and return to it’s shape.  By weaving 20 to 35 strands of the thread, the jewelers had made necklaces and bracelets that were stretchy enough to not need clasps.  They could be stretched enough to go over one’s head or hand, and according to the maker, were stronger than any other kind of pattern used for jewelry because it didn’t kink, and dent; therefore, over time, it would not loose it’s value. It would not become unattractive or un-wearable, so he was willing to say that it was a lifetime investment. This jeweler also had gold threads wrapped over stretchy silicone, which made massive, more solid looking jewelry, which also stretched.  And the thing that struck me was that he was interested in frequently saying something about the process of how they achieved this remarkable trait, while the sales girl was only all about how beautiful it was.

I was intrigued, that a metal held the properties to be made stretchy.  I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised, because I know that part of the process for tempering any metal, including steel is to make it stronger, by making it flexible.  The steel for sky-scrapers and bridges will break in the wind, if not tempered to a point where it withstands the wind and bends slightly. But of course, you would not want it so stretchy that it could not hold it’s shape.  The same was true for the bracelet, since the jeweler wanted it to return to wrist size after stretching it over the hand. 

They were gorgeous.  Each gold thread had been diamond cut into patterns along the entirety of the thread, and this added sparkle as well as aided in weaving the flexible shape.  The one thing the jeweler wanted people to know was that it was a heat process that set the memory into the metal, and made this possible.  He said that they could not do this with 24 carat gold, which actually had the malleable properties built in, because it would stretch out but not return to it’s original shape.  But by adding other metals which also gave the gold it’s various colors – platinum for white gold, and copper for rose gold – the gold content was reduced to 58%, which was exactly the right content to apply the heat process to and achieve the desired resiliency. This was the formula he said for 14 carat gold.  He said we should always be proud to wear 14 carat gold because of its ability to withstand abuse more than purer forms of gold.

I guess we all know something about this.  We’ve heard it all our lives, but this very moldable stretchy form to which this jeweler had taken the process, was refined to near perfection, in my mind.  I thought of how, when God puts us through the fires of life and adds himself to our very makeup, it makes us so bent out of shape that we don’t know what shape we are in. Hammered and beaten and cut all to pieces, I don’t think we see the bigger picture of coming out of our trials being all sparkly and beautiful. Then, He heats up the circumstances of life and holds us to the fire more than before. Only then do we have memory molded into our very make up.  We become flexible to withstand being stretched to extremes, but can bounce back, and return unscathed to beauty and form.  And that beauty remains etched for all time, to remain valuable in its maker’s eyes.  He is willing to guarantee his work for a lifetime of wear.  The jeweler, who was from Italy, was so proud of his creation, and confirmed that it took weeks to make each piece. The process could not be shortened, because each step was necessary.  There were no shortcuts to achieve the desired strength and beauty he purposed the piece to have.

God has included himself into the process of molding us.  Like pure gold we hold great value to him, but when we become less of ourselves, and one with Him, we take on a flexibility that helps us give with the ebb and flow of life.  We are no less gold, just gold plus that which makes us more than just something pretty to look at.  We take on God’s strength and character.   In a way, Jesus was like this jeweler, who took what was known about the properties of gold for thousands of years, and made it more useful than it had ever been before. As the sales girl, stretched the bracelet gently, the maker said,  “Oh, stretch it more than that, it will not fail.  It can stand much stretching and will always return to its perfect shape.”  So she stretched it twice as far and it returned beautifully to a perfect bracelet once again.

 Lord, I have been through some fires in life, that like the old saint, Job, I wanted to find you and bring my arguments. I wanted you to give me answers as to why must the fire be so hot! What value could my circumstances possibly have on becoming more like you, when, while going through the fire I was so bent out of shape that I didn’t even recognize myself, much less see you becoming one with my character?  I certainly didn’t act like you.  I knew you were there, I knew you allowed me to fall into my emotions and you didn’t mind at all. I knew you never accused me, saying, “How dare you ask me Why?” You let me groan from the pain, and cry out for help. You knew I thought it was more than I could bear.  But rather than leave me, as with Shadrack, Meshack and Abednigo, you joined me in the fire.  In places where no one else could go with me, you were there. When the din of the intensity made it impossible for me to hear you, I could SCREAM to you, and it was OK.  You never cared that I acted like a human and not like God. You simply made yourself the element of strength that would be bound to my future.  And when I emerged exhausted from the process, you allowed me to simply spring back into shape, but now stronger, more beautiful, etched by your hand a permanent pattern of your design. Woven intricately into a new form, renewed in my mind, with a shiny new purpose.  More valuable in my Maker’s eyes.  Thank you for being the only one I have to answer to when I go through the fires of tempering.  And thank you for becoming one with me, even when some would wrongfully judge me as being far from your presence.  Because, Lord that is what people do.  As Jesus said, “Father forgive them, because they just don’t understand.”  And because that is just what You do. AMEN

 But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come forth as gold.  Job 23:10

 

Watch & Wait

My husband recently told me how he had been praying about certain things when I expressed concern about an area of personal financial issues. He said, “All I can say is, this is what I prayed, and this is what God did, so this is all I know about how to believe, Cynthia.” My concerns just melted away. If I had known how he was praying and how he felt about God’s response, I probably would have never worried in the first place. Yet in his humble thinking, he didn’t wish to boast about his prayers. He has never shared much about his personal relationship with God. I knew he sometimes obeyed God in sharing our worldly goods with people as God led him. His dad was remarkably generous and sometimes gave more than was wise for his family’s best interest, so I never minded my husband’s choices because he had learned to be reasonable. But lately, he has shared that he felt God wanted him to change how he approached some things. Although I was extremely glad to be brought in on this one area of his interaction with God, I am glad to step back and just watch God work out in his life whatever else God is doing. But I do love when he shares, because I am also edified.

Sometimes the best thing we can do for someone who is finding how to depend totally on God and what He is doing in their lives is to just watch and wait. If there is not a time in our children's lives when they begin to reach out to God for themselves, they are crippled for years in their spiritual walk. The watch and wait time can be for years. But God continues to be in control, and continues to speak softly, drawing those He loves to a closer walk with Him. He ususally isn't very pushy. And He never gives the whole plan dot for dot. If God choses my curcumstances ad chosses to resolve the things as He does, what reason should I have for trying to change that set of events or consequences? Unless He asks me to turn the helm.

One of the best things that I have benefitted from lately, is to let my husband use his skills, developed over the years, to plan our vacation. This year my input was simply that I would just like to anchor in one hotel, and not wander too far from that central point to make our daily excursions. By letting him take it and run, he planned sunrises, sunsets, shopping and all. But only God could have made them as incredible as they actually were!

It will probably often feel like I am only a passenger aboard the boat that my husband and God drive. While watching God tell him to turn the helm, I only wish to be told, that we aren't adrift in the Ocean of No Direction. I genuinely like that my husband has decided to go to great lengths lately to share with me as much as he knows of how God is guiding him to a "new port of call." And equally proud that he shares when he just isn't sure where God is going at all. Even then, I am content that God is gthe one who is drawing up the map. But, I think I'll stay aboard. And enjoy the ride. Well, kinda like Noah's wife aboard the Ark. LOL

Lord, I thank you that you have blessed my husband in such a way that he is confident enough to say, if God is in it, I don't know what else to believe. Thank you for security when you are in it...whatever it is. May someone be blessed today by simply standing by your door, listening, as they watch and wait. In Jesus' Name - Amen

Blessed is the man that listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at my doorposts. Proverbs 8:34

Take Five!

One of my dearest Christian friends used to say, “Inch by inch-life’s a cinch!”  I often come back to that simple saying when I am feeling overwhelmed by life’s demands.  I, like you, have many roles and expectations being a working mom and wife.  

I firmly believe that the enemy would want us to have chaos rule our lives.  From the Garden of Eden when satan’s temptation caused Adam and Eve to trade a life of peace and comfort for one of turmoil and hard work; and our adversary has had a plan of distraction laid out for God’s children.  This divisive scheme of busyness continues to plague us.

This following is an excerpt is from the devotion called “SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND” by Marsha Burns dated 8/9/11:

“Make time for Me in your busy schedule. Your ability to stay connected spiritually will produce peace and good fruit in the face of overwhelming circumstances. Remember that you don't have to accomplish enormous challenges all at once; you are well able to do one thing at a time, moment by moment and still succeed. Refuse the allow stress and pressure to steal your peace and joy, says the Lord.”

Isaiah 26:12 says, “Lord, You establish peace for us; all that we have accomplished you have done for us.”

The past six years have been such a tremendous spiritual journey for me.  I rearranged the way I do business with the Lord-beginning with the minute I get out of the bed.  Instead of being hurried and late, I simply get up a few minutes earlier and sit in my chair to read my devotion, sing a song of praise, write in my prayer journal, or just soak in the presence of my Heavenly Father.  I ask the Lord to prioritize my steps for the day and guide me to accomplish the things that make a kingdom difference.  This has made a huge adjustment on my outlook of life to that of a heavenly focus.

Psalm 5:3 says,“In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.”

The author, David, reveals through this verse that God’s perfect plan for us is to spend time with the Lord first thing in the morning and lay our burdens at his feet while waiting expectantly for direction.  

Our daily challenge is to take a few minutes and fellowship with our Heavenly Father.  This simple “time out” in our lives will allow God to direct our paths and align our hearts and attitudes with His perfect plan.  The peace that flows from our relationship with the King will transform our routines into a kingdom focused life.

My Prayer:  God, thank you for adjusting my attitude when I take a few minutes out of my morning to fellowship with you!  Holy Spirit, show me how to maintain a life that is pointing others toward my Heavenly Father.  I lay down my busyness at the foot of the cross and thank you, Father, for providing perfect peace in the midst of a hectic schedule.  In Jesus name!

 Scripture to memorize:

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from, me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” 

                                                                                                            ~Matthew 11:28-30

 

 

Finding contenment in a time of change ...

 At the beginning of the year, i wrote a blog post on my New Year's Resolution for this year—simply being content.

The Oxford Dictionary defines content as:

adjective
• in a state of peaceful happiness
• satisfied with a certain level of achievement, good fortune, etc., and not wishing for more

verb
[with object]
• satisfy (someone)
• (content oneself with) accept as adequate despite wanting more or better

noun
• a state of satisfaction

In Philippians, Paul says this about contentment:
Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.—Philippians 4:11-12

We know that we are really and honestly content when we can agree with what Paul says. i really believe that there cannot be true contentment apart from Jesus. He is the source of joy and contentment because we realize without Him we are nothing. When we have Jesus in our heart, on our mind and in our spirit—and we are filled with joy only He can give—we are content in any circumstance ... whether our cup is overflowing or we are walking in the darkest valley.

In the last three years, there are few things that have stayed the same: My family and my joy in Christ. Everything else has been changing in some way. In my state of constant change, God has proved Himself stable in my life and for that i am grateful.

Once again, i have found my life changing, interestingly at a time when the season is changing. The day after my birthday, about two weeks ago), Luke called to tell me that he is happy where he is, that he has no intention of coming home, and that he wants to be my friend. Honestly, after three years (three years tomorrow, in fact), it was hard to be content with what he wanted. But God has assured me that i would be OK. He has put peace on my heart as i have filed for a permanent dissolution of marriage, granting Luke his wishes. i am resting knowing that even if i lose one more thing, i will never be able to lose Him. i am content with Him—my source of life, joy, peace, and hope.

Some days, being content is harder than other days, but i reflect often on what Paul says in Philippians. i know what it's like to have much and i know what it's like to have much taken away. When i find my source of joy to be in Him, and not people, money, or possessions, being content comes naturally.

So, as i move forward in this new year and beginning of a new chapter in my life, i move forward joyfully, looking forward to God's blessings. i have much story left to write as God closes one door. i am confident He will open many, many more and bless me for being a faithful servant.

Plowing in the Snow

The other day I was speaking with a wise friend who was sharing a story about someone who was working a job in her field in hopes that it eventually brought in more clients and expanded her business.  She said it’s like “plowing in the snow.”  I had never heard this phrase before, but am amazed at what God has revealed this week in praying about the meaning.  

In preparation for a new season of growing, farmers often plow their fields and mend tools and machines during the winter.  These simple acts alone do not grow their crops and yield a harvest, but are crucial to a good crop.  Plowing the fields during the colder weather is hard work and doesn’t produce any immediate results.  Repairing farm machinery, in the same regard, seems pointless at the time.  However, when the spring arrives, the farmer diligently plants his crops in prepared fields with maintained machines.  The farmer has to look down the road quite a few months during those cold winter months to dream of what the future could look like.

I can relate to this principle so much as a Christian.  There are times when I’m doing the “right” things:  reading my Bible, spending time with the Lord, going to church, worshipping God, but I am not seeing the results of my efforts.  I am dreaming of my future plans, but they seems so distant.  This is an example of “plowing in the snow.”  

As Christians, I believe God wants us to dream and pray for those things within His perfect will, but we can’t give up when life gets difficult.  The challenge is to fix our eyes on Jesus each day-knowing that our Heavenly Father adores us and has great plans for us-both in heaven and on earth.  Sometimes the winter seasons are longer than others, but when our focus is on the Lord, He will give us the grace we need to endure.

My Prayer:  God, I confess to you that I sometimes feel like giving up during those cold seasons of my life.  Thank you for giving me strength when I’m looking ahead.  Holy Spirit, remind me to focus on you.  Thank you, Jesus, for modeling the ultimate example of perseverance on the cross.  Lord, I claim that your grace is sufficient for me.  In Jesus Name!

Are We There Yet?

When my family takes a road trip, my husband and I hear a question from our kids, “Are we there yet?”  I can relate to this question in reference to God’s will for my life.  “God, am I there yet?  Have I reached the center of your perfect plan for my life?”

This weekend, I heard a pastor preach about people searching for the will of God or God’s path for a person’s life.  He said that people often come to him and say, “I don’t even know what to pray about,” so he prays the scripture from Revelation 3:7 which says,

“What He (God) opens no one can shut, and what He shuts no one can open.”

What an amazing way to look at God’s power!  When we diligently seek the Lord and his plan for our lives, we should be comfortable in asking for such a bold confirmation as this verse.

James 1:5 says,

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

This verse promises me that when I need help with my path, God stands ready to offer me wisdom and guidance.

God is in control, even in the midst of life’s storms.  Stormie O’Martian wrote in her book called, Praying God’s Will for your Life, “When you walk closely with God and live in obedience to His ways, you can trust that you are in the center of His will, no matter what the circumstances are around you.”  

O’Martian further writes, “The center of God’s will is not a destination; it’s the process itself.  God’s will is a place we choose to live every day as we seek intimate relationship with the Lord, lay a solid foundation in Him, and learn to walk in His way.”

Jesus reminds us in Matthew 6:33-34 of how we should seek God’s plan for our lives when He says, 

“But seek first his kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

As Christians, our challenge lies in trusting that when we seek the Father, we will find Him and we will know the paths He desires for us to take.  There will probably never be a moment when we are “there yet” until we get to heaven but we can be sure that finding God’s love and treasures along the way are part of our journey.

My Prayer:  God, remind me when I am anxious about your plan that you will reveal exactly what I need to know when I need to know it.  I choose to seek you first every day and trust your plan for me is good.  I lay my worries at the foot of the cross.  Holy Spirit, thank you for being my guide here on earth.  Thank you for the gentle reminder that your will is a journey, not a destination.  In Jesus Name!

Opening the Box of Blessings

There are times in my spiritual life that I fall into a routine with God: seasons where I read my devotions and pray small, regular, bland prayers.  It’s like I frequently put God in a box where my petitions are safe and my prayers are assuredly answered in my favor. 

However, lately, I sense that the Lord is calling me to pray bigger, bolder, more daring intercessions about His will for my life.  James 4:2 says,

“You do not have, because you do not ask God.” 

How often are we limiting ourselves because we simply don’t ask for the favor of our Heavenly Father?  

Being a mother of two children, I want to give good, healthy blessings to my children especially if they are asking for great choices in situations that I can control.  Our Heavenly Father loves us so much more than the depth of love a mother can feel for her own children!  God desires for us to sit at His feet in holy communion with Him and ask for the desires of our hearts.

Another important passage that demonstrates this principle is 2 Corinthians 9:6 which says,

“Remember this:  Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.”  

This scripture is often used in reference to tithing, but let’s realign this idea into prayer and petitions.  According to this verse, if we sow fellowship with God generously, we are going to generously reap in blessings from a closer relationship with the Lord.  We will live each day assured that we have spoken with our God; we are filled with the Holy Spirit and seeking His perfect will for our lives.  Life just doesn’t get any better than that!

Our challenge lies in opening the lid to the box that we have idealized our God to live in.  Let’s choose to believe the Bible which tells us what a powerful and mighty God we serve.  Lastly, let’s pray brazenly while seeking God’s path for our lives.

My Prayer:  Oh God, I confess my sin in believing you for so little!  I choose to trust you with every area of my life.  Holy Spirit, remind me to pray for my dreams that fall into your perfect plan for me.  Thank you for pouring out blessings on your children.  

Scipture to memorize today:

"The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

                                                                                                ~James 5:16

On The Edge

 
After years of hearing preachers use the Old Testament example of being on the mountain top as being in a place where we are close to God, the Spirit reminds me that those men were honoring God the only way they knew how, by adhering to the law. They knew nothing of being able to spiritually leave that mountaintop and fly, to have freedom in Christ thru salvation. I am sure they wished they could. What happens when you get to the mountaintop, and like those men, have to go back down again? Returning to the spiritual Valley of Hardship every time was a frightening way to look at being a Christian to me. 

 The picture was one of going up to the mountain, to find God who just gave you a lot of laws about how to live, that you couldn’t live up to. Then with that burden, you return to all the pain and suffering in the valley, to try to do what you couldn’t before. No help from God on that trip.  Some of the greatest pastors I know have spoken of being on the edge with God. Yet never once did they admonish me to fly.  It was only when I discovered that, when I get to the mountain, and commune with God, what He really wants is to take me to the edge and become the “wind beneath my wings.”  It is often in our deepest darkest hours that the Spirit himself teaches us how he lifts us from the depths. Spread your wings, and mount up upon what you cannot see. Use the tool of FAITH . Make the decision to fly and do it. 

Ever felt like God had dragged you kicking and screaming to “the edge” where you knew you couldn’t face another step? You were certain that if you didn’t back away, God would push you over the edge? Next time, say: “OK God, teach me to fly.”  Fledgling birds start from up high and are drawn or pushed from the safety of the nest, sometimes off the edge of a cliff.  I have seen them tumble and hit rocks or other hard surfaces if they haven’t spread their wings properly.  Once I saw a falcon bounce his way down ‘til we were afraid it might have been fatally bruised and feared it would die. But three days later, he leapt from the perch where he had remained while he healed, possibly until hungry enough to try again. This time with wings spread WIDE it soared out over water, dropping all the while until with a tilt of one wing his angle changed and up he went back toward the safety of the ledge, where the father falcon dropped him food. He made fledgling flights for several days before it became difficult to find him, because he learned to fly and land anywhere he pleased.  Learning to fly with the Spirit is a dangerous act. You have to face your darkest fears, and you will often have experienced the greatest spiritual falls of your life just previous to and while going off the edge.  The sooner you spread your wings the better.

While the falcon was at lower heights one day, I was positioning my camera to film his activities, and became so amused that he was exchanging glances with pigeons sitting on the same perch, that I forgot to press the button to start filming.  A pigeon actually looked back over his shoulder at the falcon, sitting beside him, and did a double take before putting some space between himself and the predator. The falcon appeared to be more curious than hungry, and I fully believe he was unaware that he was sitting beside the very bird species that would soon become his regular source for dinner.  This one pigeon on the other hand was very aware what he was.  It was only when I reached to review my footage that I realized I hadn’t caught it on tape.  But it stays in my mind as a reminder, that when you can’t fly you are in a place where you find food and gain strength for the journey.  And possibly learn more about what your spiritual food source actually is. If we are sitting “smack dab” in the middle of our food and don’t know to eat it, we will remain spiritually hungry. LOL 

 Our Loving Father pushes us off the edge to depend on the Spirit, which gives freedom from the earthly bonds, and if we wait upon the Lord, we are renewed in our faith. We better be ready to spread our wings out flat and catch that wind. Then, we are able to mount up with wings as Eagles and by learning to trust in it, to walk and not faint…. 

I know I recently posted about flying like the eagle, but I think it is a two-part message. We so concentrate on the soaring part that we my not realize that it is from the edge that we learn to fly.  But while learning, there may be a tumble and a time for food and healing before we actually get to the heights. Or - that we must go to this place between flights.

I do so wish I had the video of that pigeon looking over his shoulder at that falcon ---looking back in my direction---- and then jerking his head back so fast to look at the falcon. He wanted to see if he really saw what he thought he saw, sitting right behind him!!!! You would soooo laugh.  Why there’s a whole story of how the devourer can show up and just sit on our perch, without us knowing, until he is ready to eat us up, in that story.  Well, maybe another day.  LOL

Why would God push us off the edge?  Why does He allow these excruciating experiences in our life that leave us feeling alone and isolated, bruised and afraid to attempt to ride on faith again? It is because when we learn to fly, we escape the bonds of earthly things, and learn that being free is to be a little closer to His world.  In His world, you have no attachments to this world. One day when we are totally free from this world we will "fly" to where He is. But it is about the ease of living in spiritual freedom. Not a world of being bound to things we have to do to please God. 

Lori recently reminded us that Christ said to take his yoke because it was easy and light.  That verse grounds the concept. There is a yoke, but not a bondage. There’s a difference. We are linked to and dependant upon God. Yes we can fly anywhere, but it is not in our best interest to go sit among the pigeons, nor is it wise to dive into the water if you are a falcon and not an eagle, nor should we think we can stay aloft with the clouds forever without coming closer to earth for food and shelter.  We must not fly in the storm. Freedom has its boundaries. Flying must be learned in tandem to God.

 Eagles gather when possible at night, to find shelter close to one another. They fly from the roosts at about 7:00 am to go hunting breakfast, but they usually fly off the roost one to three at a time and go separate directions. Raptors generally don’t fly to heights until well after dawn when the atmosphere warms and the thermals rise. If we fly where the Lord does not offer the support and guidance, without food, rest, fellowship, and support, we will just be flapping our wings.  We go it alone with His help every day, if we are well equipped for the journey. But, if I am acting like a vulture, smelling like a vulture, eating like a vulture, I can’t gather with the Eagles at night.  

“When I said: My foot slippeth; thy mercy, O Lord, held me up.”           Psalms 94:18

 Read carefully the full context of this verse in three versions.  Vss 11 – 22. Vs. 13 says God gives rest from adversity; vs. 22 says God is our rock of refuge.  These allude to being at a place of learning…a place where God is drawing the writer to the edge where he has not yet “learned to fly.” Or a place to which he returns for the wisdom and strength the Lord has waiting. Vs. 21 is a foreshadowing of Christ in his darkest hour. Can you see the writer of this Psalm longing for something, for escape from the vulture life?

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalms%2094:12%20-%2022&version=NKJV;NLT;TNIV 

Thank you, O' Lord for your merciful freedom, that once it is learned, one never wants to go back and live only under the law.  Yet thank you for the instruction and definition the law gives, to help me remember what kind of bird I am.  Thank you for the rock, the perch to which I return, never again afraid of my darkest hours, knowing that when the morning comes, I can fly. Thank you for its place of refuge, food and fellowship, from which to view the big picture. And thank you for always being my tandem partner. Give this blessing to someone who needs it Lord. Teach someone to fly. AMEN

 

Escaping the Slime

I remember watching a Nickelodeon show with my kids when they were younger where unsuspecting contestants had a bucket of green slime dropped on their heads.  They would duck but not be able to avoid the lime green pasty yuck that covered their bodies.  I really think life can be just like that sometimes.  We can be rolling along and get pummeled by the slime of life.  There are times when the slime just keeps pouring onto us for months or even years.

As I was pondering several slimy events going on in my life right now, the Lord led me to Psalm 40:1-3:

"I waited patiently for the Lord:

he turned to me and heard my cry.

 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

 out of the mud and mire;

 he set my feet on a rock

 and gave me a firm place to stand.

 He put a new song in my mouth,

 a hymn of praise to our God.

 Many will see and fear

 and put their trust in the Lord."

Beth Moore often says, “The way up in God’s economy, is down (on our faces before the Lord).”  There’s no better time to humble ourselves before God than when we are facing difficult circumstances.  I think that God uses our earthly trials to draw us to himself-a time of undivided attention.  

As we examine Psalm 40, let’s not miss the important promises there.  First, God hears our prayers.  He may answer them in His way and in His timing, but God hears His children.  Second, He provides rescue to His people.  In the midst of every trial, God offers a place of complete peace at the foot of the cross.  Third, the Lord renews our hearts and redeems our testimonies using every moment for His glory.  Billy Graham said, “The most remarkable thing about suffering is that God can use it for our good.”

My Prayer:  God, I thank you for providing a glimpse of victory through Psalm 40.  I choose to wait patiently for you until you lift me out of the slimy situations that life throws my way.  Change my heart, Lord, and give me a hymn of praise so that many others will know more of you from my testimony.  In Jesus name!

Scripture to tuck into your heart:

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."

                                                                                ~James 4:10

 

When God answers prayers—but not like we hoped for

God answers prayers. i have had many prayers answered in the last two and a half years. some prayers were answered just the way i asked for them to be. others were answered, but not in a way that i hoped for. But God doesn't say that He will answer every prayer the way we hope—He just asks that we trust that He knows best.

For two and a half years i prayed endlessly for God to heal Luke, and most importantly to reveal to me what was holding Luke back. God stripped me of many things during that time—all i had was Him, a prayer, and hope. He left no room for me to get distracted from the truth and He slowly revealed that truth. A lot of days the path was painful, but most of the days i found joy as i learned to trust in Him, get to know Him, and find meaning for my life.

Three weeks ago, God brought this whole thing to a head. In a matter of days i stood in front of truth. It wasn't pleasant or what i had prayed for. In fact, it was painful. And, i said to God, "This really can't be how you are going to answer this prayer after such a long battle, right?"

You see, God put in for me the missing puzzle pieces. i finally got to see the entire picture, but it wasn't beautiful like i had dreamed of. In fact, it was dark and unpleasant. And even though i got to see the picture, God took away from me all control. All i could do was stand there and pray.

For two and a half years i bent over backwards for Luke and our marriage, working full-time + freelance work, took care of the house and bills, ran errands and got groceries, and cooked most of the meals. i did everything i could to help Luke—i was faithful to what the Lord asked me to do. Three weeks ago, God took all the burdens off my shoulders when he took away control.

As Luke was faced with the deeply rooted emotional and spiritual battles that are keeping him from healing, God gave Luke free will to make a decision three weeks ago. Luke, after being asked who he wanted to go home with, his wife or his mom and dad, Luke chose his mom and dad over me. Your first thought might be what was going on in our home that would make him choose to go home with his parents. The truth: nothing. i am not saying i was always a perfect wife, but Luke and i got along really well—i gave him everything i could give. Truth: Luke never leaved and cleaved and no parental/family boundaries were set - this is just one battle that he is fighting. And, i believe that in his fear of facing truth, he runs back to a place where he doesn't have to face it.

For over three weeks now i have not seen Luke. Every day i have text him and about every couple days i've tried to call him and he won't respond to anything. And, when i ask his parents how he is doing, all they tell me is that he is well and stable. After taking care of Luke for so long, the door has been shut in my face. i have to wait outside with minimal glimpses of what's going on inside.

Can i tell you that my wings of faith feel like they've been clipped. Can i tell you that my heart feels broken in ways that i never thought possible. That my tears are plentiful and my words are few. i hurt knowing that i gave him everything i had (physically, emotionally, and mentally) and he walked away.

All i can do is pray that this clipping and redefining of my wings will allow new, bigger and more beautiful ones to grow. i will continue to raise my hands to the sky in worship to the God who is love, peace, and all-mighty. i rest under His wings, focusing on Him.

i don't know the next step exactly, but i am moving forward one step at a time knowing that He works all things together for good. i rely on the Lord to fill the holes in my heart and the longings in my soul. i continue to look to Him for strength and grace for each day, believing that He has not failed me, but made me a stronger woman in Christ for the will He has for my life.

"Just Enough Light"

Stormie Omartian wrote a book called, Just Enough Light for the Step I’m On, and I have to admit that I bought it merely for the message in the title.  You see, I’m the type of person that likes to make an educated decision based on all the facts and research that I can come up with which is great unless we are talking about waiting on the Lord.  

Sometimes God doesn’t give us all the information during our journeys so that we will trust in His character, His will, His provisions, but most of all, His love for us.  Stormie says, “The path is not a punishment; it’s a privilege.  It’s not a restriction; it’s a reward.”

Stormie opens her book with this poem called, “Just Enough Light.”

“Sometimes only the step I’m on,

or the very next one ahead,

is all that is illuminated for me.

God gives just the amount of light I need

for the exact moment I need it.

At those times I walk in surrender to faith,

unable to see the future

and not fully comprehending the past.

And because it is God who has given me

what light I have,

I know I must reject the fear and 

doubt that threaten to overtake me.

I must determine to be content where

I am, and allow God to get me where I

need to go.

I walk forward,

one step at a time,

fully trusting that

the light God sheds

is absolutely sufficient."

Walking with God doesn’t mean that we have the answers to every situation in our life, it only means that we are praying our way through on a daily or even hourly basis while trusting that the Lord has our best interest in mind.  

Billy Graham said, “Pray for wisdom to deal with whatever is worrying you.  Pray that God will act to change the circumstances according to His will.  He doesn’t always do what we want Him to-but He knows what’s best for us, and He can be trusted.”

Our challenge today is to lay our circumstances at the foot of the cross and allow God to envelope us with His sweet love and peace.  Let’s allow this old hymn written by John Sammis in the late 1800’s be the cry of our hearts,

“When we walk with the Lord

in the light of His word,

What a glory He sheds on our way!

 

While we do His good will,

He abides with us still

and with all who will trust and obey

 

Trust and obey for there’s no other way

to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey”

 

My Prayer:  Lord, thank you for being a loving Father and looking out for me.  Give me courage to continue when I don’t have all the pieces to my life’s puzzle.  Holy Spirit, remind me to trust and obey when I’m scared.  I choose to lay my worries at the foot of the cross.  Thank you Jesus for bearing the burden of my sins.  In Jesus name!

 

Scripture to memorize:

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,

for I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go,

for to you I lift up my soul."

~Psalm 143:8

 

Watching the Clouds Roll By

Have you ever rested on a blanket on a beautiful day and watched the clouds roll by?  Today I was discussing some issues with a very wise person in my life.  I told her that I was frustrated with myself for getting anxious when life is too demanding.  She introduced me to a new way of viewing stress in our lives by knowing that, like clouds pass on by, seasons of anxiety will blow by and it’s our job to remain in the peace of the Spirit until they pass.

What an amazing idea!  Too often we allow ourselves to become blown around by the dark clouds instead of peacefully lying on the blankets of grace laid out by our Heavenly Father. If we rest in the God’s faithfulness when our lives become too much, the stressful season will pass according to the Lord’s will. 

Jesus explains this point in Matthew 11:28-30 when He says,

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

 Romans 5:3-5 says,

“We also rejoice in our sufferings; because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hears by the Holy Spirit, who he has given us.”

Billy Graham said, “Only the Holy Spirit can give us peace in the midst of the storms of restlessness and despair.  We should not grieve our Guide by indulging in worry or paying undue attention to self.”

Certainly some storms are stronger and last longer than others, but if we focus on the grace that a relationship with God affords, we will endure these times with a peace that surpasses understanding.  It’s much easier said than done.  It takes perseverance in attitude and a constant renewing of the heart and mind, but this endurance in hardship secures our emotional victory.

My Prayer:  God, thank you for words that inspire me to look at things a new way.  I choose to rest in the comfort of your Holy Spirit today and ask you to pour your peace around me as I watch stressful seasons blow by like the clouds.  Remind me to pay attention during hard times so that I may minister to others later.  I praise you for providing the hope that comes from running the race with perseverance.  Thank you Jesus, for being the perfect example of finishing well.  In Jesus’ Name!

 

 

A Cup of Comfort in the Coffee Pot of Life

Every morning I brew a pot of coffee and sit quietly as I sip out of my favorite mug allowing the warmth of the heavily sweetened delight to fill my body and awaken my spirit.  Just this simple act of relaxing while reading my Bible brings me such rejuvenation.  Even though I like my coffee (a lot!) the real comfort is poured into my heart by the Holy Spirit.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says,

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."

When I think about this verse, it makes me realize that every difficult situation that I take to the Lord is not only meant for my own personal testimony of God, but also I’m expected to participate in a ministry to other people who are experiencing similar circumstances that I’ve had.

Billy Graham said, “God doesn’t comfort us to make us comfortable, but to make us comforters.”  

Our challenge is to allow God to help us through the miserable valleys of life and heal us so that we can effectively and healthily use our testimonies in the lives of other hurting people showing Spirit-filled empathy, compassion, and understanding.  We don’t have to share every horrific detail of our experiences, but we can just lend a listening ear and allow the love of Jesus and direction of the Holy Spirit to permeate our relationships.

I jokingly tell my husband that I’ve got to “meet the people.”  Although I am a talker, time after time, when I am having what appears to be a random conversation, I have an opportunity to minister or share my testimony.    I firmly believe those times are not accidental, but are opportunities provided by God to pour out a cup of comfort into the coffee pot of life.

My prayer:  Lord, I thank you for the comfort and compassion during the desperate valleys of my life.  I pray that every difficult situation would be used for your glory.  Use me to help others get through tough times.  Holy Spirit, give me the wisdom to know what details to share and how to effectively point others to Jesus.  Jesus, thank you for being the best example of comfort in your ministry.  In Jesus name!

"And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort."                                                                ~2 Corinthians 1:7