my wings are made of faith

The Will Of God Is Not Complicated

I have a dilemma, for which I did a word search in Bible Gateway, to find God's will on the subject. Praying that the Lord would open my heart to his message, I actually found an answer in about the 3rd verse I read, and found confirmation of God's will on the matter, just a few verses further down. But my heart was not at peace, because I felt like God wanted me to know more about "HIS WILL."

In general, I discovered that:

~ There are a lot of verses which said it was God's will that Israel be his people, that they might serve him, and he would provide for them.

~ There were also a lot of verses that indicated that his people would have joy, and pleasure in his gifts, blessings, and provision. That it was his will that we expect him to provide. Jesus derided some for not accepting this fact as second nature. Without second thought.

~ I found verse after verse through out the Old and New Testamensts, that included Salvation as a primary element of God's will for us. It was and is, and always has been his perfect plan.

~ I noticed that when anyone was in God's will, or had discovered God's will, they were filled with praise, and glorified God, for making his will known.

~ It was appearant that God wants us to know his will. And that great men of God, didn't proceed until they knew God's will.

~ A lot was said about safety as long as you were in his presence, and in his will.

But even in all that, I still felt that I hadn't found what the Lord wanted me to know concerning my dilemma about his perfect will.  And when my husband asked me was I almost finished with my post, I could only say, "the Lord hasn't told me yet what to write." To which he responded, "I hope he tells you before midnight." I said, well, he has until 6:30 am. To which we both laughed.  I almost changed subject headings and then this verse jumped out at me. Not new to me, but definitely, not the bit of info I had expected from the mouth of God concerning my dilemma.

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. I Thessalonians 5:18

What a direct verse! It is personal, ending in the word "you."  This was the verse that God wanted me to see.

The will of God is for me to give thanks, even for the dilemma, the thing that steals my joy, the battle that looms ahead, the problem I cannot solve, the day Satan reveals my shortcomings before a crowd, the hours that I falter and stumble  - weak in faith. 

God wants me to give thanks, when I cannot see his plan, his direction, his salvation from what assails me. What I realized, that when seeking the WILL OF GOD, the simple place to start once you know his WORD of TRUTH, is to give thanks in your situation.  That's not so hard is it? A starting place, the point where you begin the race. God was saying to me: Cynthia, its not complicated. Let's start here!

So tonight, at my point of need, I claim his word of truth that he gave me in those first few verses, and I start my quest to work out my faith in that WORD, by being Thankful.

The question is, what can I be thankful for? I certainly am not thankful that I have a dilemma to face.  So what then?

1. I am thankful, that I have a savoir to go to with my problem.

2. I am thankful, that I have a reference tool like Bible Gateway, in fact that I have the Bible period.

3. I am thankful, that all of the things I found great men of God discovered about the Will of God, are still true for me. Especially that I am safe in his presense.

4. I am thankful, I don't walk this path alone.

5. I am thankful that God goes before me, and that I can have hope, can plan for a future, am his child, have the Holy Spirit to guide me....

I see where this is going. The more I begin to think about what I am thankful for, the more pours out of me to the point of being joyful, and finding something to praise  and glorify God about, even in my situation. This is certainly a great starting point. At the end of this session, I now have peace of mind. God is so good, isn't he?

(Who knows, by the time this is over, I might even be thankful for my dilemma. LOL)

Precious Lord, I THANK you for guidance and the Still small voice of your Spirit. I thank you for the freedom you bring, the Faith you encourage, the treasure of hope, and the security that your will is meant to give me your best. How could I want for more. AMEN

God Asks Us to Find the Moderate Choices; Come Back From the Extremes

Let your moderation be known unto all men.The Lord is at hand. Phillipians 4:5

A few months ago, a digestive issue that had plagued my husband for years became so bad as to interrupt our daily lives to the extreme. In fact, because I was beginning to experience his symptoms, I suspected it had to do with our diet foods. It really began for me when the sweeteners used in our foods changed to a certain brand that everything on the market decided to use. Generally used in drinks, it began to appear in everything, even foods that we used to not expect to need a sweetener.  Even as most processed foods began to add sugar to non diet foods, diet foods began to add the sweeteners. In an honest attemp to eat in a way the nutritionists were directing him to eat that would eliminate sugar, Jimmy concientiously checked every package of every food he purchased. His doctors treated only his symptoms, as they most ususally do, and no one was interested in getting to the cause. That is, until the elevation of his symptoms sent him to a specialist, because his doctor presumed, of course, that something serious in Jimmy's body was causing the interruption in life.

The specialist was a wise young lady.  They did the expected tests to rule out cancer, etc. and then she sat down with us to really listen to the answers to her questions.  What he ate and drank certainly came up, and he admitted that he had cut back on diet drinks at my insistance to only 5 a day. She said with some firmness and amazement, "YOU CUT BACK TO 5 A DAY!? 2 is the maximum number of diet sodas your body can possibly handle!"  A revelation to even me, although I knew they were toxic somehow. " (He was drinking 10 or 12.)

 She explained that the sweeteners were not digestible, and the body could not process them.  She pulled up information on her computer that indicated the chemical makeup of a lot of things, and explained simply that the build up of these products in our systems was toxic to the walls of the intestine.  We surprised her, when we explained how many of the foods we had available had begun to add them. Even cold cuts, and sliced meats. She ckecked her computer and she was surprised to realized that her diabetic patients were so much in jeopardy.  She told us that so many of her clients lately were undergoing tests to determine why they were having to take so many medications to treat digestive issues. She said that many were diagnosed with things like irritable bowel syndrome, when in reality it was that they drank too many of the wide variety of drinks, including sports drinks and flavored waters that claim to be zero calorie for the sake of hydration and weight control. Or just because they thought that as long as they were getting water, and vitamins they were drinking something safe. When in reality, more than two, the body simply stored the unusable sweetener in the bowels and they became irritated and sore. The breakdown in the body's system to be able to process our necessary food was eventually lost once the effects of those drinks took their tole over several months or years.  She suspected that the documented rise in the number of bowel and digestive disease prognosese was actually due to people taking in too much of these chemicals.

 After 2 weeks of not eating anything with these sweeteners in them, mine and Jimmy's symptoms had begun to resolve themselves. It was enlightening to Jimmy. Enough to help him change his habits drastically.

When I speak of these issues, I am not playing doctor or trying to be "holier than thou."  I am simply relating to you areas where I have personally discovered that not everything that is processed as food is worth eating or drinking. Any food that is eaten out of balance can become toxic to us. Breads and rice would be my husbands greatest culprits.  Real food, but dangerous if he isn't providing the balance from proper amounts of proteins and low carb veggies and berres etc. I noticed years ago, that too many carbs affected even my emotional well being.

What has this to do with scripture at all? We are told to do all things in moderation. That's what. To avoid the extremes in everything we do, and to moderate every action. Food is no exception. My dear mother, died in part due to her fear of everything. She was on the opposite extreme. That too was sin.  Finding middle ground is how scripture directs us to make all of our decisions.

What else in life might you apply this guide to which would greatly improve how you live?  I have found that it works on almost everything.

Lord, help us to recognize the middle ground in everything from politics to foods we eat. From how often we go to our technical devices, to how often we watch a sports on TV.  How many pairs of shoes are too many, and what kinds of food we eat.  Help us live a life of moderation in all things.  Give us wisdom to see it, the ablility to make the wise decision, and to see when whatever we do that is not in moderation might affect our family, and daily activities. It is about living life more abundantly.  And it is about being blessed by everything you give us to make life healthy and happy. In Jesus precious name, AMEN

It Is God Who Gives Success, when we trust him.

Each new idea, every problem to be solved, even the day's mundane chores, should all be commited to God. Why? Because, once we trust him for the day's work, the Lord get's busy bringing our commitments to fruition.

Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:5.

We think we understand this verse, until things don't go the way we think they should. That of course is when our trust is challenged. Try this the next time you ask God to bless an endeavor, and things seem not to be going as you expected.

1. Affirm in prayer, that you know you commited this endeavor to the Lord. Tell God that you are trusting him because He asked you to both commit your way to him and to trust him.  Say something like: "God, even though it looks like everything is not going to come to pass, I rebuke the lie, that refutes your Word, and I determine to continue trusting you.  I accept that you are working to bring it to pass, and await the blessing you have promised.  Let my heart and mind not be turned to the lie, but help me believe the truth in spite of the circumstances."

2. Make certain your heart has a determination - that God, not you, are responsible for bringing an objective to pass. So many of us, say to ourselves, "If I just trust God more and try harder, it will happen." That is totally the opposite of what God wants us to learn about trust.  It is God, not us, who holds the responsibility for something coming to completion. Yet it seldom means sit on our duff, and expect miracles to happen.  It means proceed with confidence, no matter what.

It is wise of course to know if your endeavor is something God actually wants you to do. But if you are afraid to establish what to do, until you have a sign from God that it's what he wants you to do, you would be perpetually at a stand still.  You know for instance when you wake, that if you have children, God wants you to be a good mother. No question about that.  If you have a job, you know that God would want you to be the best employee you can be. If you are a teacher, God wants you to do the best teaching job possible.

You also know what gifts God has given you, with which to serve him. You can always move forward doing what he gifted you with, and ask with no reservation, that God bring the use of that gift for someone's good, to fruition. 

However, if you know that God has impressed you to stay away from buying a new car while your budget is tight...commiting your determination to disobey him, will be equivalent to not trusting him. Therefore, he is not going to bring it to pass, because you proceeded knowing God"s will, but trusted yourself instead.

We can relieve ourselves of a lot of feelings of failure, if we become aware who is responsible for our success. If God does not make our way successful, we don't fail, unless we are doing it under our own power.  I am having a difficult time making this clear. God holds the resonsiblility for our being successful.  If he doesn't make things happen, he, not us, has failed. But does he ever fail...NO. So if it isn't happening...either your faith is being tested, or you have moved into "I can do it myself " mode.  Or you have moved forward against his will.  If you really believe, God has called you to it, then put all your trust in Him making it happen. Move only as he opens the doors. So the third element of relying on this verse, is to

3. accept his timing.  This is probably our greatest falling off point. God's timing seldom fits our schedules.

I love the saying that some are posting which says: "If God isn't opeing doors, serve him in the hall."  At least one said: " If God doesn't open your door, serve him on the porch."  Trust is being who he gifted you to be with confidence, no matter where you are. Allow God alone to move you. But also, expect good things from him, and beware when Satan wants to shake your faith. Learn to see him causing the difficulties, and know it's Gods job to turn even Satan's bad, into good. And just keep putting successful expectations on God's shoulders. He said to.

Lord, I thank you, that when you have allowed me to be tested in this subject several times lately, you have proved your willingness to prove your Word.  I have learned that, if I pray, Thank you Lord for what you are about to do, even though it seems to be impossible, I determine to trust you with the results, the progress, and the completion of my success.  I have determined to not push through when my doors aren't opening. I have determined to wait upon your timing.  Thank you Lord, that when I have tested your Word, you have brought amazing good things to pass. Much love, Your adoring Child. Praise to the Trustworthy Lord of my life. AMEN

 

Trusting God 14 Different Ways

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding

Prov 3:5 KNJV

It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man

Psalm 118:8 KNJV

Blessed is the man who trust in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord

Jer 17:7 NKJV

He will not be afraid of evil tidings; His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord

Psm 112:7 NKJV

The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe

Prv 29:25 NKJV

Vindicate me O Lord, For I have walked in my integrity. I have also trusted in the Lord; I shall not slip

Psam 26:1 NKJV

He has put a new song in my mouth--Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord

Psam 40:3 NKJV

He who heeds the word wisely will find good  and whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he

Prov 16:20 NKJV

But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord God, that i many declare all Your works Psm 73:28 NKJV

But I am trusting you O Lord, saying "You are my God"

Psalm 31:14 NLT

For the wicked will be destroyed, but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land

Psalm 37:9 NLT

Those who trust in the Lord are as secure as Mount Zion; they will not be defeated but will endure forever

Psm 125:1 NLT

So do not throw away this confient trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it bring you!

Heb 10:35

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint

Isaiah 40:31 NLT

Here are (14) fourteen scripture on trusting the Lord. 

For three years, God has been dealing with me about trusting Him. It is so easy to read the words of the scripture about trust. But the real power of the livng Word comes when we apply it to our lives.

It seemed like Lori lived Psalm 112:7 NKV and kept her peace. It seemed Christy lived Prv 29:25 and was kept safe. on a boat. Cynthia shared you and I can live Isaiah 40:31 and be refreshed.

Extending trust is a learned behavior...even to the one person in the entire universe who is the most trust worthy. I don't like that God would put so many scriptures in the Bible about trusting Him if He expected us to get it the first time. If you are struggling, take courage, look at how far you have come and praise God for your growth. Then commit to keep at it. 

Fourteen verses on trust. One a day for two weeks. Which one speaks to you? And why?

Father help us see where we can trust you more. Give us the courage to start extending you the trust you deserve. Give us the peace that trusting you brings. Amen

Say NO!

 

"Imagine you leave one job for another, and your former boss demands that you come in to work today. Of course, you'd decline because you no longer work there! You have a new job . Similiarly, we are no longer slaves to sin but slaves to righteousness. When sin demands we come in for work, we now have the right and poer to say, "NO!"

~Lecrae., Lord Have Mercy  devotional on The Overflow Devo

Lecrae is a Christian rapper and I workout to a lot of his music. I saw he had a devotional on the YouVersion bible app and thought I'd follow it. It is only seven days. On day three he makes the above statement about sin.

It impressed on me the ridiculousness of a believer giving into sin.

Roman 6:20 NLT
When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the obligation to do right.

In other words, you didn't let doing what was right mess with your primary function...sinning. You didn't "have" to do right becuase sin was the main driver of your life. The only thing you "had" to do was sin. But when you become a Christian, Christ is the main driver of your life and you get to choose to do what is right.

Roman 6:22 NLT

But now you are free from the power of sine and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result n eternal life.

I love this mental picture. It is ridiculous for a former employee to go to work at his old job when he is employeed somewhere else. Think about this mental picture the next time you feel sin calling you demanding you show up for work. You don't work there any more. You are  a new creation with a new boss. So you can emphatically say NO to sin!

God, I thank you that the blood of Jesus freed us from the power sin had over us. It is no longer our ruler. It is no longer our master. Righteousness is our new lord. Show us what is right. Help us choose what is right and to tell sin... NO!

Amen

The Healing of God is Newness of Life

I mentioned once before that I grew up with an abusive father.  My childhood was genuinely good when he was not abusive, but it was nightmarish when he was. It is difficult to talk about, and I have found that most people don't really want to hear about it. It makes them more uncomfortable than me.  But for the sake of illustrating the truth found in Christy's subject this week (week 18) I want to share something specific from that past.

Many years have past since I was in my early 20's and my husband and his family were the outside influence which finally brought a stop to Daddy's ability to continue his abuse in the night hours, so that it remained a secret to all who knew him. They intervened and put a stop to it, to the point that my father had to move away, into another state. The years of fear were finally over. Since he took most of his things with him, I didn't have occasion to be reminded daily of how bad it had been. Let me quickly say that he never molested any of us children that I am aware of. But as we grew older and sought to defend our mother from the very physical and mental/verbal abuse she endured, he often beat my brothers and myself physically, and did odd things, like burning my face with his cigarettes. Please be aware, that I am not going down memory lane....I was healed of that. Thankfully, God gave me complete healing and I no longer have dreams or sad memories of all those scarey times. Praise His Name. Time however, did not heal the wounds, God did.

In later years, when my children were still young, we moved to the same state as my dad, and we had opportunity to visit with him for a number of years before he died, without my children ever knowing much about what happened in my youth. I wanted them to know the man I loved as a child, not the one I feared. He took them fishing, and spent time with them, and that is how I want them to remember him.

When he passed away, we went to clean out his home, which was on land that had belonged to his brother while he was alive, but had passed to my cousin upon the brother's death. My cousin had kindly allowed that Daddy continue to live there until his death. But once both dad's wife and Daddy had died, my cousin feared there might be things, which his children would find in the house, that might harm them, if they found their way in. So he searched through the house and discovered the medicines left behind, some fireworks, matches and Dad's 22 rifle. My heart skips a beat just saying the words.  His 22 rifle.

When my cousin met us at the house so we could enter and clean it out, he asked me to come into the bedroom and get rid of something for him, because he didn't want his children finding it and getting hurt. I said certainly and followed him to the closet, and when he pulled down the gun, I was unable to see it until he turned around. The instant I saw it, my legs buckled underneath me, and I scarcely breathed as I said: I want nothing to do with that gun. That is the gun Daddy held us hostage with when I was seven. A strange look came over his face, becauses he didn't know that side of Dad. I told him to see if one of my brother's wanted it, but I hoped to never see it again..EVER. Except for the bed being directly behind me, I would have hit the floor.

My counsin said that, judging from my reaction, what I said must be true, but that just was not the man he knew. I told him I was totally glad it was not, or his children would have not been safe. I certainly had not been safe most of my childhood with him. But I didn't intend to stand there and start bashing him to someone who never knew his dark side.

Now, my point is this. Objects absolutely do hold attatchement in our brain, that will steal away the preciousness of life if you let them. I am a strong believer that you cannot simply do away with things and expect the very deeply ingrained memories a thing might evoke to be healed. Sometimes, if your attitude is one of hiding from the thing that causes you hurt, you are only putting on another worse problem, which is denial. As you eliminate items that remind you of pain, you must actively put on new life, and fill the void left with God's healing.  As time goes on, it is easier and easier to forget the details of our years of fear. But it isn't because I am in denial of it's pain. I dealt with the pain.

The Healing of God is Newness of Life

I mentioned once before that I grew up with an abusive father.  My childhood was genuinely good when he was not abusive, but it was nightmarish when he was. It is difficult to talk about, and I have found that most people don't really want to hear about it. It makes them more uncomfortable than me.  But for the sake of illustrating the truth found in Christy's subject this week (week 18) I want to share something specific from that past.

Many years have past since I was in my early 20's and my husband and his family were the outside influence which finally brought a stop to Daddy's ability to continue his abuse in the night hours, so that it remained a secret to all who knew him. They intervened and put a stop to it, to the point that my father had to move away, into another state. The years of fear were finally over. Since he took most of his things with him, I didn't have occasion to be reminded daily of how bad it had been. Let me quickly say that he never molested any of us children that I am aware of. But as we grew older and sought to defend our mother from the very physical and mental/verbal abuse she endured, he often beat my brothers and myself physically, and did odd things, like burning my face with his cigarettes. Please be aware, that I am not going down memory lane....I was healed of that. Thankfully, God gave me complete healing and I no longer have dreams or sad memories of all those scarey times. Praise His Name. Time however, did not heal the wounds, God did.

In later years, when my children were still young, we moved to the same state as my dad, and we had opportunity to visit with him for a number of years before he died, without my children ever knowing much about what happened in my youth. I wanted them to know the man I loved as a child, not the one I feared. He took them fishing, and spent time with them, and that is how I want them to remember him.

When he passed away, we went to clean out his home, which was on land that had belonged to his brother while he was alive, but had passed to my cousin upon the brother's death. My cousin had kindly allowed that Daddy continue to live there until his death. But once both dad's wife and Daddy had died, my cousin feared there might be things, which his children would find in the house, that might harm them, if they found their way in. So he searched through the house and discovered the medicines left behind, some fireworks, matches and Dad's 22 rifle. My heart skips a beat just saying the words.  His 22 rifle.

When my cousin met us at the house so we could enter and clean it out, he asked me to come into the bedroom and get rid of something for him, because he didn't want his children finding it and getting hurt. I said certainly and followed him to the closet, and when he pulled down the gun, I was unable to see it until he turned around. The instant I saw it, my legs buckled underneath me, and I scarcely breathed as I said: I want nothing to do with that gun. That is the gun Daddy held us hostage with when I was seven. A strange look came over his face, becauses he didn't know that side of Dad. I told him to see if one of my brother's wanted it, but I hoped to never see it again..EVER. Except for the bed being directly behind me, I would have hit the floor.

My counsin said that, judging from my reaction, what I said must be true, but that just was not the man he knew. I told him I was totally glad it was not, or his children would have not been safe. I certainly had not been safe most of my childhood with him. But I didn't intend to stand there and start bashing him to someone who never knew his dark side.

Now, my point is this. Objects absolutely do hold attatchement in our brain, that will steal away the preciousness of life if you let them. I am a strong believer that you cannot simply do away with things and expect the very deeply ingrained memories a thing might evoke to be healed. Sometimes, if your attitude is one of hiding from the thing that causes you hurt, you are only putting on another worse problem, which is denial. As you eliminate items that remind you of pain, you must actively put on new life, and fill the void left with God's healing.  As time goes on, it is easier and easier to forget the details of our years of fear. But it isn't because I am in denial of it's pain. I dealt with the pain.

Ways, to Incorporate Scripture, Which Help You Learn It

Our verse for today: Who can figure it out?

Today has been quite a day. A special neighbor, had stent(s) placed in his legs today.  He came through surgery well, and we look forward to his coming home feeling better. I awoke this morning knowing I would have to seek medical help myself for the inevitable alergic reaction the ravages my body when I unkowingly contact any poison plant while preparing my garden beds.  Weeding and transplanting has given me so much pleasure that even all the swelling on my face was worth it. Thank goodness for shots!!!  Amidst all this, our kitchen fauscett had started leaking in more places than we could fix for less than the price of a new one, so everything from under our cabinets is scattered on table and counters. And the first replacement we bought was wrong, wrong, wrong. Didn't fit, looked too massive, and didn't match the accessories. While my huband lay on his back tightening the last leaks on the new one, he could see through the front door that an ambulance was in the drive of the neighbors next door.  All I could think of, all day, was that God was in control. 

I knew that both my neighbors are looking to Jesus and his word for help today, and I knew that God would provide for the Medical expenses we actually cannot afford. Why...because of scripture that I have learned to trust. God is bigger than all the daily stuff. He doesn't always keep us from it, but he does always take us through it, and his word is a huge part of that process.

So getting familiar with the verses is imperative.  Yet I must admit that I am Memory Challenged.  It takes far more work for me to memorize anything than an average person. Then remembering without refreshing what I learned is totally a wash. So how do I compensate? 

•  I learn the words that make a difference to me, and that have enough impact to stick with me. By learning the clue words and phrases, I can at least look them up when I need them in a concordance or using Bible Gateway.
• I learn of several references that are similar.  This seems to make the concept stick.
• I place the verse that I want to learn in a prominent place where I can see it over and over. Notecard, on mirrors, on desktop note, at stove and or fridge with a magnet, jewelry case, closet door, and near washing machine.
• I use them in art.

Now when I was young I was a slow reader, but I learned, one day, something interesting.  When I looked across from my chair to my open Bible on the organ bench, it was upside down and I could read it, fast! Wow! So every class I taught down through the years, I noticed if students were struggling with reading. Sometimes I would turn their work upside down to them, and read it from the other side of the table. Guess what. If I questioned their work and they pointed out answers on the page easily from upside down, BINGO. 

I began to figure out how I could incorporate that fact in my teaching.  Our AWANA programs put a heavy emphasis on learning scripture, so to help my class learn their verses, I would write them upside down and backwards one the chalk board.  Beleive it or not, it's easy. I encouraged them to do the same, concentrating on each word only long enough to write it and say it. They read the verse backwards. I would then have them say the verse to me with their eyes closed, imagining it on the board or on their paper while it was fresh. If I was busy I had them share with one another the same way. Then as soon as they thought they knew it, I would have them come and stand before me and say it. Sometimes, I had them quote it out loud right over the person(s) already there. In this way they put outside noise away and concentrated only on their verse. Several persons saying the same verse at different paces and different places, actually helped them because the mind was actually taking all this in and concentrating.

Might I say, all this helped me as well.  The teacher can't help but learn. In Sunday School classes, I wrote every letter, or at least every word of our verse, on individual sheets of paper and hung them at the top of the wall all the way around the room. When my students walked in, they were faced with their verse for the day. Often, long before we had actually came to the time to quote our verse, there were some who would volunteer to quote it from memory, just having looked at it during class.

I never learned the principles of memorization so well as the year I was given the lead in a church play.  Week after week others knew their lines while I read mine. But they ususally only had 2-5 at the most.The lead had page after page of lines, and I knew how challenged Iwas. I loved the acting part, however, and remembered that in my Drama class, lines made sense to me in context. I had not struggled with lines when playing a part, as much as dry memorization. So, with a bit of fear I might mess up the whole play, I asked God what he would have me do. He guided me to accept the role.  Months later, at dress rehersal, I not only knew my lines, but of the others as well. I was able to help stumbling fellows through. Yet today, I remember not a word. To make scripture memorizations work, you have to use them daily. Repitition is key for me, but it matters not if I know it word for word. It's hidden in my heart.

I love Your Word, Lord. AMEN

How to Offload Daily Burdens: Matthew 11:28-30 Life Application

As women, especially wives and mothers, the task of managing our family's calendar is up to us. Whether we actively take the responsibility or whether it falls on us, we usually coordinate the family events. We make sure the kids know about the dentist appointments. We schedule the repair man's visit and oversee his work. We remind our husbands to RSVP for the company picnic. And we take our kids shopping for their friend's birthday presents. We drive kids to practice and volunteer at school...oh and work full time too!.  Most days, we go about this job so fluidly we are unaware that we are even doing it. Since we coordinate all that stuff, it is easy to think we are "responsible" for all that stuff!

But we are not!

God is teaching me a very important lesson on this right now. My family is in the middle of a BIG life event. We are moving to a different state in less than month! Imagine how you'd feel if you found out you were moving in 30 days! I feel like it is my responsibility to coordinate our lives so this move is as stressless as possible. Stressless to everyone ... except me, of course. I am constantly thinking of ways that I can make this transition easier on my kids and husband. Usually that line of thinking means I am taking more "responsibility" (which easily translates to "burden") on my shoulders so my family has it easier.

Ladies, no one asks us to take on these extra burdens, right? We just do it because it needs to get done. But what  happens when we voluntarily burden ourselves? If you are like me, once you start feeling the weight of these extra burdens, you look around dismayed because no one is volunteering to help you with your burden. Your spouse, kids, even friends are oblivious to the pressure you are under....and that makes you MAD! Surely, someone would be considerate enough to come to your aid.

Good news! Someone is considerate enough to come to your aid!

Jesus said  in Mathew 11: 28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”.

I am learning a very important lesson during this time. It is called OFF-LOADING!

First, I am off-loading my burdens to Christ. In that process, I am trusting God to mange the family's calendar and coordinate our family's life events. They are not my responsibility.

Second, I am off-loading some tasks to my family and friends. By asking my family and friends to help me, I am allowing them to partake in this wonderful adventure in life. I am also practicing humility. They have skills, gifts, and talents that I don't have. Why deprive them of the chance to use those skills, gift, and talents? And because they are gifted, it will take them less time to do the task then it would take me.

When I do as Matthew 11:28-30 instructs, my heart is gentle and humble like Christ's. I am not snapping at my kids for leaving their toys out because we have a showing. I am not rolling my eyes at my husband for not putting the dishes away. I am not mad at my friends for "deserting" me in my time of need. No...instead I am finding rest for my soul!

Lord, there are many of us right now who are going thru a major transition in their lives, which require making quick, sudden, or even drastic decisions.  Help us to remember that our steps are ordered by You, and that you are leading us and guiding us into ALL truths...including any decisions that need to be made, regarding family.  Lord, help us also to remember that we are not alone...you have given us our family and friends to be a support and a help to us.  Allow us to be have enough courage to share our burden, just as Christ has told us to.  In the end, you have made a way for us, and know exactly where we are going, and what we need to do to get there.  We thank you for this, and ALL things, in Jesus name!  AMEN.

(by the way, my husband wrote the closing prayer because i couldn't find the words...see I'm learning!)

 

Pressing through the bitterness of disappointment, discouragement and SIN to focus on the power of Christ and the goodness of God

Photo by Marissa Bowers

I've never felt more alive in the word of Christ more than I have these last few weeks. I went to church as a child, found a Christian man in my teens who became my husband, I even went to a Christian college where I studied Old Testament, New Testament and Evangelism as part of the curriculum. You would think that in my first 25 years of life the foundation had been set that I would have a nice daily walk with Christ and that His glory would be revealed in my life daily.

But I let life get in the way. I let sinful experiences rob me of that closeness I had been taught all along that I was supposed to have with my Saviour. That Jesus that my evangelism professor seemed to teach me about, and that I felt like he was best friends with, eluded me and that Jesus was my distant friend I'd call on every once in awhile when I needed someone to listen to. Most of the time, He was that friend I cried out to after I had had a fight with my husband and I felt like no one in the world loved me but Him, or He was that ever knowing every present force in my life that was swaying me to make the right choice over the wrong choice, but my sinful nature didn't always listen. It never has occurred to me, until these past few weeks that my life won't be changed until I make Him my constant role model, my best friend AND the source of all of my inspiration. And when life throws me that wrench that it will indoubtedly do I know that trusting in His authentic leadership will only make the hurts sting less, and the hope seem powerful than the hurt. 

Tonight, in my bible study of James that I'm doing with a ladies small group at my church—I was asked to do an exercise that was completely amazing and eye-opening for me. I've pretty much been blown away all week by the truths this study is speaking to me but tonight, tonight was the real kicker. I was asked to break down my life into four quadrants (I'm 37, so I counted for every 9 to 10 years of my life.) You were then supposed to write down what gifts God gave you during those times in your life. When you sit down and look at life in four quadrants, boy does it put it into perspective of what all you've truly been given. The author of the study is quick to point out that it isn't taken for granted, of course, that during those quadrants there weren't bad things happening as well and that sin wasn't running rampant in our lives. But through all of the bad, came good. And that you are here, studying the word of God today, because you saw through the bitterness of disappointment, discouragement and SIN and focused on the power of Christ and the goodness of a God who loves you. That, my friends, is truly a gift we've all been given with His gift of the cross.

I could bore you with all of my setbacks (I seem to have had a lot!) but I'd rather give you the good news of my gifts during my 4 quadrants of life so far. 

{Ages 1-9} Sent to church from a young age. Learned that even though my earthly father wasn't cut from the cloth that a lot of other fathers were, it was ok because I had a spiritual Father who would teach me so much more. Learned the true bond of good family from a hard-working mother, a loving brother and my mom's large family who always seemed to be their for each other during the good and bad times. 

{Ages 9-18} Found a bff and a soul mate all in the span of 9 years. That bff would grow up to marry my brother and give him strength and stability he had never known. That soul mate would marry me at the young age of 17 and we'd embark on life together over the next 20 years. From one city to the next, learning and living life just the two of us together, facing hardships and setbacks. But moving forward with grace and forgiveness. Started college in a city I had dreamed of living in, Chicago! 

My healing journey: feeling the pain, looking ahead to joy.

A non-traditional Sunday post. Because when God says write, i write. 

A week and a half ago, i looked at Jason, tears streaming down my face and i said, i am so sad, in a way i've never been sad before, and i don't know why. i am blessed beyond measure, and everything in my life is near perfect right now. Can you imagine my dismay? 

i eat very healthy and clean, so i knew that foods were not to blame (sugar and processed foods contribute to depression). My marriage is amazing and happy and so full of love. Work is stressful, but it's not much more stressful than work stress i've dealt with in the past. i was seriously perplexed. 

i had a body scan done the day after i started feeling this way and every body/organ system was functioning well except for two. i had serious adrenal fatigue and my neurotransmitters were completely off balance. So, i took this information to the Great Physician and prayed for God to reveal why this is happening to me. And, the answers I got opened up a heart- closet door that i had nailed shut ...

i didn't cry for 3 years straight. i was hardened by life, by my circumstances, by events i had no control over. i wanted to cry, many times, but i just couldn't. In my mind, i didn't have time to cry between multiple jobs, being a caregiver for a sick husband, being the provider, faith-holder, homemaker, chauffer to doctor's appointments several times a week, full-time worker ... i never made the time to process my feelings because i feared a meltdown, losing strength to carry on. 

From the age of 28 until i turned 30, when i felt i should've been enjoying being a newlywed, starting a family, embracing a good career, nurturing friendships ... i was doing 3 hour round-trip doctors appointments multiple times per week after work. Washing urine-soaked clothes and bed clothes after witnessing my husband have a seizure, sometimes several times a week. Planning and making all homemade, nutritious meals. Trying to nurture a marriage where my role as a wife, turned quickly into that of a mother - and not by choice. 

i've witnessed things that i would never wish upon a young life. i've had to pull a 175 pound man into a position of safety during a seizure, watch eyes roll back into the head, and gasping for air, face turning blue. And i think at those times i held my breath. i've seen my husband have seizure in the shower, feeling helpless as i cry out to God for strength and help. 

My husband slowly lost faith. He lost his will to fight. He couldn't provide or protect, what men are designed to do, and he succumbed to fear and hopelessness. i watched him slowly die on the inside. A 30-year old man, slipping back to the age of 10. And no matter how much faith i had, how much encouragement i had to share, God was working something out with my husband that i couldn't control and healing became a choice of his, not mine. 

i was so very alone. My friends and family were amazing (thank you for that!). i had to practically beg my husband's family to spend time with him, to help take some of the load off, to help find some rest. His friends abandoned him and no one from church came to the house to visit him. 

i knew God would heal him and it took me a couple years to realize that God was revealing something to my husband, but he couldn't see the light. His toxic thoughts changed his behavior, his brain chemistry, his will to not only survive, but thrive and heal.

He ran away from home (running from his own fears) a few summers ago. i was devastated. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. When i tried to help him, he rejected me and he ran home to the arms of his mom and dad. For a few  months, he didn't call me, except twice to ask for a few of his things. He told me that he didn't want to be my husband anymore and i filed for divorce. It was at that moment that i new i did everything i could have. He didn't need a wife, he needed a mom, and i couldn't be that for him. i completely surrendered it all to God. 

For a short time i was one with my husband and God revealed to me why he was so sick. You see, when you become one with a spouse, God reveals things to you that may never come to light in any other way, because as one, the very thing that can make a spouse sick, can infect the other. And, i knew God did not want that for my life, especially because i fought to the death (of myself) to help him. But i was faced with much opposition from his family, our church (at the time) failed us, and i couldn't go any further without myself getting sick. 

Having to become a woman who was all things to my husband, including being protector and provider, constantly worrying about him being alone at home, awakened several nights a week to the scream of a seizure, always having to be on guard, always moving, little sleeping ... slowly watching my husband die emotionally and mentally, wondering if my husband might die (physically) on my watch ...

i was running, i am still running. Enter adrenal fatigue. i've run years in fight or flight mode, because after so long, i didn't know how to get out of it and i didn't want to deal with all the emotions i suppressed. 

The Victim Mentality of Believers

Recently, I was sitting in church listening to a sermon called How to fight like a champ. The preacher was encouraging the congregants on how to fight and win. So often we see ourselves as lovers not fighters.We are both!

That is when I thought "we have a victim mentality plaguing the believers of God". It is hindering us from living that abundant life that Christ died so we can have. We play the powerless victim. We are treated unfairly and what are we to do? We whine and say, "there is nothing that can be done." Woe is me....BLAH BLAH BLAH!

You are of God and have already defeated and overcome them because He who lives in you is greater than he who is in the world. 1 John 4:4

Do you realize what the scriptures says? It says there is an adversary at work in this world. It also says he is already defeated. It screams we are not victims! Yes, there are Christians being persecuted to varying degrees all over the world. Jesus was persecuted but he was not a victim! Even in his persecution, he was a victor.

In John chapter 11, we find the familiar story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. There is an interesting detail in that story that applies to this topic.

vs 44 And he who had died came out bound hand and foot with graveclothes, and his face was wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Loose him, and let him go.”

Isn't it interesting that after Jesus raised him from the dead, he instructed him to be loosed from from his burial cloths and go free! 

The problem with victimized believers is that we have been proverbially raised from the dead but are still bound in our burial clothes. We are "clothed" in circumstances and situations that say we should by all accounts be "dead" and we believe the circumtances and situations. We are walking and talk but in our minds we still look at our selves, and live our lives as if we are dead with no hope.

But we aren't dead.

We are alive because greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world.

A fellow Wings of Faith blogger recently said we have trouble with this line of thinking in part because we don't know what the word says. We don't know these scriptures or if we know them we somehow get convinced that they are too radical or that they don't apply to us. Scriptures like:

Romans 8:37 ...we are more than conquerors through him who loves us

John 3:33 ...In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.] amplified bible.

Psalms 23:4 Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me.

1 John 4:4 ...Greater is He that is in you, then he that is in the world

The bible tells us in Ephesians 6:12 that.. our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms..

and my favorite verse to throw back in the devil's face when he tries to tell me what an embarassment I am to God is

Col 2: 15  [God] disarmed the principalities and powers that were ranged against us and made a bold display and public example of them, in triumphing over them in Him and in it [the cross].The same Jesus who lives in your.

Does this mean that all believers are entitled to a life of perpetual winning? Yes and no. No in the sense that just because we are believers doesn't mean we will all win the publishers clearing house sweepstakes or never face sickness or tradegy and only have good things happen to us. However, yes we can win in Christ. If we listening to his daily call and be lead in His ways, regardless of the outcome, we can win. Christ disarmed the principalities adn and powers that we against us. Just like Lazarus He borught us back to life and we have to be bold enough to take off the grave clothes, put on the armor of God, wage war and stand our ground.

That doesn't sound like a victim to me. What do you think?

Father in Psalms 24:8 David declares that you are the Lord God stroing and mighty and the Lord God mighty in battle. You fight on our behalf and you have already won. Father deliver us from the lies of the enemy that keep us think we are weak and powerless. Holy spirit open our eyes to see the provision and strength you provide to us. Amen!

 

Balance

The danger of looking closely at our own lives is always that we lose our focus on Jesus.  So early in any commitment to look inward, or while taking long looks at self, 2 things must be reckoned with early:

1. Remind yourself often that when Jesus healed, he often linked the healing with forgiving sins and faith. It was a package deal. But in that context, all the stories also relate to us the impact it had on people's lives to make them love him. Their lives were turned around, and they became healthy and sinfree, but they entered a world where Jesus said: "Follow ME." These people gained a deep abiding love for their Savoir.

 Whether is easier, to say, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Rise up and walk? Luke 5:23

2. On the opposite end of that, however, is the issue of losing yourself. If you have a picture of what you think living for Christ is according to someone else's eyes, you are in danger of losing the person Jesus created YOU to be. Many people, if I asked the question- Is it correct to seek more of Jesus, and less of me?- would quickly respond, "yes!"  If you answered yes, let me challenge you with a few names: Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, Martin Luther, Dwight L Moody, Peter - "The Rock" Apostle, Apostle Paul...to name only a few.  God chose each of these people because of their willingness to bring themselves to his light, flaws and all.  None of these people were seeking to fall in line with what someone else thought their Chrisitanity should look like. Seeking Christlikeness together is not that we might look at one another, but that we might encourage and support individual efforts..

But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings. Malachi 4:2.

 Yes, we want more of Jesus, but he wants more of us. A gift we give one another.  And what a relief.  As we give to him our bodies and souls, we should find that Jesus loves us just the way he created us. His indwelling spirit is an all Him, all me relationship!  He wishes to empower us, (right down to our imperfect personalities and our bodies' failure to respond the same way someone else's will,) to have life that we live by choice. Please don't, this year, fall into a dogma of self sacrifice. Instead, visualize seeking change as an opportunity to give all of self to Jesus so that he can give it back with power.

 Many "religions" in the world have this issue at the root of their failure to understand God's word, or as a basis to allow the religion to dominate the subjects. Christians are the only faith based people who have the ability to have this kind of balance between God and Man. The flaw in some of the religions that seek kindness toward your fellow man, is that they focus on self to the extremes - ranging from self anialation to self worship. Many of Christ's followers came because of his miracle of healing and discovered the bonus of NEW LIFE, unique to anything they imagined they could have before. Unique and opposite to religious quest. Giving all of self to Jesus, can only be because we are captured by his love knowing he gave all of himself to us.

Lastly, wholeness is not about working our way to faith. It is about faithing our way to work.  I'll leave you to sort that out. LOL

Precious Lord, I ask you for balance as I seek your best for me. Help me stay aware that you only shine a light on my flaws to offer opportunity to do a miracle in me, because you love me. You both heal and save from sin because you meet our needs, and restore us to wholeness while empowering us to NEW LIFE. While we seek personal change...remind us that it is to give us empowerment to serve you best. Defeat the acts of Satan to distort your desire to make me wholly one with you. Help me not to begin a guilt trip list in the process. We seek Grace and Blessing. We praise you for your Love that inspired you to give your all for us. We recieve your gifts and open our lives to your Healing.  AMEN

It's Week 3 of The Wholly Healing adventure. If you haven't already, check it out and be sure to pick up your journal page!

http://mywingsaremadeoffaith.typepad.com/faith/2013/01/52-weeks-of-wholly-healing-week-three-put-on-the-armor-of-god.html 

 If you are new you will want to start from the beginning - Week One. Missed last week, here's week 2. Don't miss a single week by visiting every Monday.

Gun Control or More Jesus?

i should start by saying this post may get long, so please bear with me.

i'm going to be honest in that i really wasn't sure (still not sure) if i can write about this, but it has been so very heavy on my heart the last few days. The horrific massacre of innocent lives at an elementary school in Conneticut has left my heart in a constant state of prayer ... not just for the families and community involved, but for all of humanity. 

i see all these pointing fingers at:
• lawmakers for not making stricter gun control laws
• the NRA
• preppers/survialists/homeschoolers (like the killer's mother)  
• teachers who aren't doing their job to raise kids up in a good direction
• gun owners/gun sellers
• schools for not being more prepared and for letting people like the killer get into schools 

Yet, i don't see anyone getting to the root of the problem. America is continuing to take God out of our country—the government, schools, taking away religious freedoms—because Christians offend non-believers. i don't think i'm the only one, but i firmly believe that God won't protect the places we remove Him from and i think we're seeing that more and more with America in the natural disasters, terrorist attacks, public massacres, government, etc.

We live in a fallen world. Evil is present and seems more rampant these days, and i think we're just so blind to it unless it makes the news. As a wife of a police officer, i see more than what makes the news. My husband spends at least 10-hours a day for 40 hours a week facing evil—just like any other officer on duty. It's just not all glorified by the media. 

How did we get to a place where we continually throw stones at the wrong things, especially inanimate objects? Guns don't kill people, just like:

• forks don't make people overweight 
• cars don't make drunk drivers kill other people 
• knives don't slit the wrists of teens who want to cut themselves
• pills don't shove themselves down a depressed person's throat
• money doesn't force the hands that hold it so spend it
• a computer doesn't force a person to watch pornography

i fear that we (collectively) have lost a sense of personal responsibility and we have forgotten where the true battle lies:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. —Ephesians 6:10-12

Let's go back in time for a minute ... Adam and Eve had a choice (God gave them, and us, free will). They willingly chose to eat from the tree that was forbidden ... the only tree in the garden that God told them not to eat from. They chose to disobey God and they made a personal choice that was encouraged by the devil. Adam and Eve can't blame the apple for touching their lips. They had to accept personal responsibility and the consequences for their actions. Situations like this have been an ongoing (good vs evil) battle since the beginning of time. So, going back to what i said above:

• forks don't make people overweight - people choose to prepare/eat unhealthy foods and over-indulge
• cars don't make drunk drivers kill other people - a drunk chooses to get into a vehicle and drive
• knives don't slit the wrists of teens who want to cut themselves - a young person chooses to slit their wrist to feel something more painful than the emotional pain they are feeling
• pills don't shove themselves down a depressed person's throat - a person chooses to pop pills to numb reality
• money doesn't force the hands that hold it so spend it - the money-holder chooses to overspend and rack up debt even thought they know they can't afford stuff
• a computer doesn't force a person to watch pornography - the owner turns the computer on, types in a website, and chooses to look at pornography

Any inanimate object can hurt (physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually) or kill something. As the wife of a PO and former marine, we have guns in our home. i have been taught how to handle and shoot a gun. Not one gun has ever got up and released the trigger. i would have to choose to pick it, aim it at a target, and shoot. With that thought in mind, let's dig deeper ...

A look of hope - Joy restored.

Maybe this post is more for me than the rest of the world, but i feel the burden to share because it's a big part of my journey. Maybe it will touch another heart or give hope or maybe it's for me to look back on someday and see how far i have come (especially in the last year). Whatever the reason for this post, i pray it will be a visual testimony of the love the Lord has for me. 

i look at these two photos (below), one taken about two months ago (on the left) and the other one taken in early 2011 (right). The one on the right, taken in early 2011, reveals to me how dark my life was at the time and how void of myself i really was. i look at this photo and i don't see me. i see a very lost look in my eyes, a deep sadness, and a burdened heart. They say the eyes are the window to ones soul. And while i still see some joy (which came only from the Lord), i don't see much else. 

By the time this photo was taken (intended for use on this blog), i was unknowingly a few months away from filing for divorce, losing a battle i had fought for so long, beat down, stressed out, losing hours and hours of sleep, and crying out for Jesus to rescue me from a battle i no longer had the strength to fight. This photo reminds me how empty i felt at the time. And it reminds me a person cannot continually and selflessly pour into someone else without being filled up in return. i see a small glimmer of hope still exists, but there's a great and desperate need for restoration ....

And then i look to the photo on the left with great joy because in a year and a half to two years, i see this radical change in myself. i can see that i have found me again, complete with a newfound joy in Christ Jesus. i see bright eyes full of rest, rejuvenation, and peace. i see an inner smile that shows on the outside and a heart that is full of new life. And even though i have a few more wrinkles than before (lol), i love this photo because i see myself restored in a way that only God can restore ...

He mended my broken heart. He gave me rest. He filled my soul with peace. He breathed life into a weary body. He fought my battles and defeated the enemy. He rescued me from my troubles. He restored my life. He gave me the desires of my heart. He protected me. He filled the emptiness with His love and His light. He gave me a new song to sing and has filled my life with hope. He covered me with the blood of the lamb. He blessed me with compassion and grace. He surrounded me with people who lifted me up. He loved me. He cherished me.

He made me feel like the daughter of a King, again.

I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you. “You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you. ..."—Joel 2:25-26

i look at these two photos with tears in my eyes because there would be no healing without the mighty love of my Lord and Savior. His love and compassion transformed my life. At a time when i thought i had lost what made me me, he restored what the locusts had eaten. He restored my hopes, my dreams, and He showed me that His strength was perfected in my weakness. He gave me stronger wings of faith ... 

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for giving me a visual of what you've done in my life the last few years. Thank you for restoring the joy in my life and for helping me find myself again. Thank you for seeing in me what i couldn't see in myself and for giving me back much more than what i lost. Your promises are true and forever. 

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God's Pleasure ~ A Sacrifice of Communication

In the early years of our marriage, communication was our biggest deterrant to happiness.  I thought we totally understood one another while we dated for 2 years, but as soon as my husband returned from Vietnam, it was like we were strangers.  He seemed to take everything I said and make it something other than what I was saying. And I obviously could not pick up on the subtleties of what he wanted me to take from things he said.  For some reason, we had difficulty discussing anything concerning finances, household order, and timing for getting things done. We fought over absolutley everything for 20 years.  I was discouraged and exasperated to the point of believing we just needed to divorce. I could not bear another year of arguing, because I was lost, to the point that I dispaired of life.  I was even confused why God had not offered us some kind of help.  I changed, and changed and changed myself, trying to yeild to what I thought my husband wanted me to be - so much, that I lost who I was.  I buried myself in trying to be this person he seemed to think I was. I felt like he didn't love the person I really was, to the point that I hated myself. The more I prayed that God would make me the person I needed to be, the more silent God was, and I could not understand.

After a lot of reading, and learning that God was not pleased with my becoming someone other than the person he created me to be, I felt I was to a point of hopelessness.  The only thing I understood, which wise people were telling me, was - to draw a line with my husband, and say: "I am not going to try to change into this imaginary person that you think  I am supposed to be anymore. I am going to go back to being "me." I miss "me." I liked the me that God made.That "me" used to be happy. She was extremely happy when she met you, and she is extremely unhappy now that she has lost herself.  If I am not who you thought you married, I am sorry.  I am asking you to give me time to find myself and be that person again, while being the judge of who that person is, myself. YOU do not get to say who I am. Only God and I do. Then after a while, if you don't like that person, we will part. I thought that was the me you fell in love with. I don't know what happened.But I can't be the imaginary person anymore. I don't even know who she is, and I don't think you really love her either."

A huge burden was lifted for me, and I  began to say, "No." more often. I learned I was being co-dependant to his anger addiction, and I wanted to break the cycle. Was I being disrespectful suddenly, and refusing to submit to my husband?  No, I was asking for mutual respect, and beginning to communicate in a way that was edifying. A counselor who was helping me learn how to communicate properly, told me to always speak with a little voice in the back of my head saying, " Your husband is not a mind reader.  Tell him your wants and needs."  I entered this new kind of communication with trepidation, almost sure that it would fail like everything else I had tried, but oddly, I made great strides in communicating things that I couldn't get my husband to hear for 20 years. I made myself not respond, whine, speak in anger, or give in.  And the marriage that I thought was surely lost -- my husband was suddenly making extremely real efforts to restore. The walls I had put up for protection, I mentally took down, with a strong warning that they would go back up again if I felt that we were moving backwards instead of forward.  And I put time limits, verbal ones, for certain things to happen or change.  I asked for straight forward answers to questions like: "how can I know you are genuinely going to help me make our lives together work?"  I bared my soul and made certain he knew that I had become afraid of him and who he wanted me to be.  I was afraid how far this tight grip on my life could go. I drew a line and made it clear that I would never cross back over that line again. I would say what I meant only once, and I would live by what I said, no wishy washy giving in, especially if he threw his weight around, or made threats.  And if I didn't see results almost immediately, I was gone. He had power over me, only to do what it took to have me stay.

At first he didn't understand, but as I began to not let him draw me into arguements, or trying to defend myself, somthing happened. I began to have an inner strength. The Holy Spirit was responding too. Some things puzzled me, because they were what I always beleived but I was living what I believed in a new way, one which included communicating a strong intention to live by what I believed.  My husband had been taught somewhere that female submission was something that was akin to what we see in other nations where women walk behind their men. His was a world where he could do anything he pleased, but I could not.  I was to see myself as lower than him, and if I didn't, he would give me plenty of reasons to. I knew this was not the way Jesus expected me to live, and I was totally taken by surprise to see this archaic behavoir from someone whom I thought believed as I did that submission in marriage was mutual.  The day I found out for sure how he thought was the day I said: "I thought you were my best friend. What happened to that?" To which he answered: " I was never your best friend. I asked you to be my lover, and I married you to cook and clean and be there when I need you. I don't want to hear your problems and feel your whiney feelings. If you want a friend, go find you a girl."
It was for that reason, that the very first thing I felt needed communicating was that I had thought I married my best friend and that I could tell him anything. That my misconception of our marriage was that he really didn't want me telling him my stuff.  I felt as if my best friend had died somewhere back there and I was just now finding out.  After some lengthy discussions where I made certain things that I no longer would consider acceptable in our marriage, very clear...I just prayed and stood my ground, and tried to remember who I was.

One day when I was very depressed, I had sat in the car after taking the kids to school, with no energy to even enter the house, and the sun glinted on the dew in the grass where dandelions bloomed. I felt like I was a dandelion, unloved, and was feeling sorry for myself, when the yellow in the yard began to move. I looked harder and realized that among the dandelions in the grass were dozens of goldfinch feeding on the seeds that fell from the fuzzy stage of the blooms. For an instant, I wasn't depressed, discouraged, sad, unhappy, or tired. I was exhilarated and sat there for a very long time hoping they would not leave so I could feel well for a little while longer. My counselor had recommended that I make myself vulnerable, and if and when I got my husband's attention, tell him things that were intimate to me, share my feelings completely. Knowing how he said I needed to find a girlfriend, I was scared to try, but I found an opportunity, and I told him how for just a little while I felt whole, and believed it was a gift from God, and a sign that he was pleased with what I was doing.  He didn't say much, except that he just didn't understand why I was so unhappy, but he was glad I had enjoyed the birds.

When Valentine's day rolled around, I wasn't sure I wanted to play like a Valentine.  But my husband insisted. I collect tins. Not many, only special ones.  So my gift was a tin, a pink and white striped one, my favorite pattern. On the very center of the lid were goldfinch, and a sentiment: "To my Best Friend." Inside my favorite chocolates, and various other mementos that said: "I am listening, and I am trying", including a small love note that was more like I remembered when we were dating.   Needless to say, it was the beginning of the new phase in our marriage.  I will forever be thankful for a Bible concept that puts communication above submission. That says the best sacrifice is to frame how you speak to the people you love.  And that it does not mean to politely, lovingly keep your mouth shut.  It means to speak, saying: "This is what I believe, this is how I feel, this is how I plan to respond, this is what I need, this is what I want, this is the time frame I expect to work toward, and this is who I am, in Jesus name."

But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased. Hebrews 13:16.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Ephesians 4:29

My precious Lord, I have difficulty sharing the way you gave me courage to speak firmly and quietly, without being defensive, the things that needed to be said to save our marriage.  Now 20 years later, I sometimes have to remind myself how communication edifies my marriage, rather than bringing division.  But let me, find better ways every day to minister grace to the hearers.  Strong in what I believe, to the point of being able to speak with definitive words who I intend to be, how I intend to behave, what I will accept from another person, and why I will stop anyone who will cross the boundaries I have set.  Please share this concept with a soul who finds themself lost to who they thought they were.  Help them find the inner strength to do your will, and be the person you made them to be. In Jesus Name I pray, AMEN

 

The government rests on His shoulders

Are you tired of the relentless campaigning yet? It consumes the television, radio, YouTube videos, blogs, social media ... it is everywhere. And, i find it to be exhausting. 

Sure, i know who i am voting for and plan to vote when the polls open tomorrow. But will i be completely devastated if the man i want to be president of the United States is defeated? Highly unlikely. Here's the thing ... i could totally be bent of shape, but then in whom am i placing my trust? i do not place my trust in man and his empty promises. i place my trust in God and my Savior, Jesus. 

For to us a child is born,
    to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.—Isaiah 9:6

This verse in Isaiah reminds us that Jesus is King. A wonderful Counseler. Mighty God. Everlasting Father. Prince of Peace. God is the president in my life. Every leader will fail in some way, but God never fails. i may or may not like the outcome of tomorrow's election, but i'll continue to place my trust in God and keep my focus on Him. The government rests on His shoulders. My confidence rests in that no one can remove God from heavens throne. My happiness isn't determined by whomever holds office in a building in Washington DC because i know that God is still in control.

As Americans, we are given the right to vote. i encourage you to pray about who to vote for and then get out and vote. No matter who is chosen for presidency, please pray for them. We need God, prayer, and His Word in this country more than ever in order to get us back on the right track.

Father, God, help me to be patient tomorrow - at the polls, listening to people's last minute campaigning for who they think is the best leader. i may not understand what you have in store for this country and i may not understand the leader that you allowed to take office, but i trust you, God. i do not place my hope in man, especially one with empty promises of security. Lord, my only hope is in you. Keeping my focus on you is what keeps me in good health, not a healthcare policy. Keeping my focus on you, is what keeps food on my table and money in the bank. Keeping my focus on you is what keeps my safe, not national security. i love you, Lord, and i'm grateful that the government rests on your shoulders. In Jesus name ...

Don't Fix It ~ Run!

Being an artist and designer, I often find myself in a dilemma that requires I step back and consider, do I fix it, or let it go.  As a designer, I have an “I can fix it” attitude, which has its good side…and its bad side.  Down through the years, there have been people who might say something like, “You are so talented, I wasn’t blessed that way.” If they only knew! Sometimes it isn’t a blessing at all.  There are 2 or 3 major reasons when I wish I was anything but a person with a head full of ideas.

• one, because I have the "fix it"  attitude, I have to reel myself in before I butt into everyone’s  business and try to fix their problems for them.

•  two, I sometimes jump in to try and fix my own problems when it would be best if I just waited to see what the Lord has in mind.  And...

• three, I sometimes don’t recognize  that I should be running away from the problem, not staying to fix  it.

It is actually best to flee, sometimes.

A young lady who is going through growing pains in my neighborhood, has some challenges, and she is a target for bullying.  One day recently, as a target, she had all she could take and she stood her ground to fight.  You might imagine that she wound up in trouble, and later when she came by to talk a bit, she expressed some remorse for her choice.  On the one hand she had hoped she fixed her problem by making her verbal attacker think twice next time, but on the other hand she wasn’t feeling so good about herself, for making it a physical battle.  I can’t say which would have been best for her, because either way, it seems she would be judging herself based on the opinion of  her oppressors.  If she had walked away, or if she fought, she still would have their stabs ringing in her ears and pounding on the door of her heart for a long time to come.  And, she has difficulty processing a clever response that would have quieted them.

Our conversation went to the “fight or flight” discussion, which I hoped would help her realize she had choices.  Ever since, I have been thinking quite a bit about the scriptures that discuss God’s directives and laws that concern escaping our problems, when they are too much to bear.  

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. I Corinthians 10:13.

In the Law there was given something called “Cities of Refuge” to which someone, who needed to flee someone’s wrath, or even the consequences of their own actions, could go.  As I researched the word, I found quite a few  references and stories that were centered around a need to escape.  David’s nearly constant need to escape the wrath of Saul, even though he had been crowned the new King, is a prime example. Reading those stories, and verses made it ultimately clear to me, that sometimes, God wants us to find a place of escape.  To cease from trying to “fix it”.  He wants me to not use the talents he gave me to stress over making everything right again. He desires that we free ourselves from going back again and again to jump on the same old Merry-go-round to failure.  There will always be reasons to stand and fight, but I am truly thankful that there is also something in God’s greater plan, that asks us to be wise enough to know when it is far better to choose flight.  Some things are best left for God to fix.

Dear Jesus, make it clear to us when we should buck up and hang in there, to so all we can to figure out how you intend to help us. To be creative and make things better than before. Help us know when, to be inside your perfect will, you are directing our path to stay and proclaim, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,”  OR,  to know when you are leading to to place of safety, rest, and recognizing our limits. Help us be ready always to lay our tools at your feet, and RUN.  In Jesus name, AMEN

Guest Post: Living By The Word Of God

My 4yr old son came to me crying hysterically. " What's wrong?", I asked.

He began to tell me that his younger brother threatened to give him a spanking. I chuckled to myself at the idea that my son was so upset about something so absurd.

I assured him, “He can’t give you a spanking”. To which he cried even harder, "Yes, mommy! YES! He said he is going to spank me!". It was both a laughable and frustrating moment.

It is laughable that he is upset over a concept that is impossible. I tried telling him that his brother had no authority to spank anyone but he wasn’t hearing it. He was convinced of his impending doom at the hand of his little brother.

Aren’t we like this with God sometimes?

His Word is the final authority in our lives…and yet we get convinced that the “other” voices have the final say. He said he would never leave us or forsake, yet circumstances convince us that He has abandoned us in our time of need.

It was frustrating for me, in my finite wisdom, to try to convince my 4yr old that he is NOT subject to his 2yr old brother. But God in his infinite wisdom continues to remind us over and over that His Word is final. 

In Numbers 23:19 it says “… has he said and shall He not do it?”

Mathew 24:35 says Heaven and earth will pass away but God’s word will not pass away

Psalm 119:89 says God’s word is forever settled in heaven. 

Matthew 4:4 tells us to live by every WORD that comes from the mouth of God 

We can rest knowing that God has final say in our lives as believers. Like my 4yr, we just have to mature to a point to believe it!

Blessings,
Julia 

Remember No More

In Hebrews 9 and 10, Paul discusses how the sacrifice of Jesus on the Cross is the fulfilment of the Old Testament sacrifices which looked back from year to year at an individual's sins, and then made a yearly offering of blood sacrifice for them.  Verse 16 of chapter 9 explains that, when there is a "last will and testament," as we would say, there must be the death of the testator for the promises within to become effective.  Paul was explaining that the Old Testament books made a promise of a final sacrifice, and a time when one would no longer need to look back every year to remember his sins, and blood would no longer need to be shed symbolically.  Jesus, he explained, was the writer of this will, and upon his death, the gifts he promised within were made effective.  In 10:1 he explained that those things done by law, although a shadow of good things to come, even offered year after year, were never the real thing, nor were they able to remedy the sins of those who came every year completely, or make them "perfect" in God's eyes.  I am doing a lot of explaining, not intending to add to God's word. The message, however, is simple. What I believe the Lord wants me to bring to you today is found in verse 3.

But in those sacrifices there is a rememberance again made of sins every year.  Hebrews 10:3

And in verse 16 -17.

This is the covenant (New Testament) that I will make with them, after those days (his death and resurrection) saith the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts and in their minds will I write them, And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.

A lot of us spend a lot of time looking back as the Israelites were told to do year after year, living for the day that we can forgive ourselves. Hoping to find emotional relief for the things where we failed or regret doing, for the sins of our youth, or the times we failed to make wise decisions. And the times we did all we could, but could not change the outcome or consequenses of our actions. We look for a day that painful things are forever in the past.  Some things will happen in our lives that we have no power over, which will stick like glue, to make us constantly look back - always thinking, "How might I have changed what I did, to make the circumstances come out better? We struggle to shake them. 

One of the things, Jesus's finished work on the cross was to have done, was to finalize the years of looking back. It was meant to be a remedy for constantly remembering our flaws, and living in wishful thinking.  Verse 15 tells us that the Holy Ghost is our witness (to the reading of the will), and to the promise that he (God) had said before Christ's death, he would remember our sins and iniquities no more, vs 17.  We use the term "will of God" loosely, without remembering that it actually is a legal action of God.  We are talking about God's laws. God acts within his own laws.

If there are things in your life which you live over and over, it is time to take action, and take them to the throne, the Heavenly Probate court, and say:

 "Lord, I have been remembering over and over how I sinned or failed in (these) areas.  I need to bring them once and for all time to place them in the promised trash can of Hebrews 10: 17.  Help me know that, if you will not remember them year after year, you have made a way that I also should not live in the past regrets.  I accept the death of my savoir and his testament to me, a promise to let my past be healed by shedding of his blood. Heal my memories and help me live remembering only, that, no matter how many times I bring all that pain back up, there is no other resolution but one...and that is Christ's death and resurrection. It is already complete, and a finished work in your eyes. May I say as Jesus said on the cross, "It is finished."  AMEN" 

By the way it is no accident in my mind that the verse number is 17. The number 1 is for God, and the number 7 is the number of completion, meaning - God said it is finished. 

God would not have you spending year after year looking back, or waste hours wishing things could change.  I am guilty of this over a lot of years of my life.  I used to even dream about going back and making things right so I could let them go.  Even today, I face things that could make me fall into the pattern once again, of regretful living, financial failures, and ways I failed at doing what I wanted with my life.  But even in the old testament law, once a year, a sacrifice was given so the people could leave that year behind. If God on his throne does not bring our failures to remembrance, why do we carry them as weights that hamper our race?  We have a binding promise, that we can be free of the debt.  We can choose to live looking forward.

If you need a visual, or an act of rememberance to replace the bad, (a good thing, by the way,) label an actual trash can with the phrase: "Past regrets to remember no more ~ Promised by Hebrews 10:17"  Write down the things that hinder you, and on your knees, put the paper shred by shred into it.  Better yet, use a shredder.  And pray, "thank you, Jesus for healing my memories according to your will."  Then any time you are tempted to revisit the pain, say: My promise is..." & quote the verse: "their sins and iniquities will I remember no more."  The last phrase will stick. 

Choose this day to REMEMBER NO MORE the past that drags you down. Note: the old testament was carved into stone and had to be carried around and read to remember it's value.  The promise in verse 16 says that the new testament is carved into our hearts and minds. Like with someone's will, the deceased gives what is promised therein to his heirs.  The law which holds the promise, the years of bringing your sins over and over to the Lord is no longer out there on a will somewhere. Its gift is in your heart. The will has been read, due to the death of its writer. It was witnessed by the Spirit, and he was the Executor. It has been finalized in God's Probate Court. The promise of freedom is yours, belongs to you, can be carried about with you day in and day out, is carved into your being. IT IS YOURS TO CLAIM AND LIVE BY.  The will has been read and the heirs possess the property. The papers were signed, in blood. Even a DNA test would prove the document is true. It is done!

Father, we live like we have to wait 'til heaven to face you with all our sins.  Please help someone realize that the power in the blood, and the possession they own, sets them free from looking back with regret. Nor do they need to look forward to heaven to take advantage of the promise.  Help us see  that our constant  return to years gone by, is in itself sin, because it is against the WILL OF GOD.  Heal us Lord from our hurt and painful memories. In Jesus name and by his blood, AMEN

The lovely title font is from Fontspace.com, called JFJungleRock, and is by permission of the artist given to be used any way you would like, as long as you have fun with it.

The Whole City

What would it take for almost an entire city in America to gather to hear the word of God? 

And when the Jews were gone out of the synagogue, the Gentiles beosught that these words might be preached to them the next sabbath....And the next sabbath day came, almost, the whole city, together to hear the word of God. Acts 13:41, 44.

In Chattanooga, Riverbend draws huge crowds, but not almost the whole city. Football games draw large crowds, but seldom almost the whole city. In Atlanta, the Olympics drew people from around the world, but the whole city didn't attend.  I was a member of a church once, that was so on fire for Jesus, that we had to hold a couple of services at the Charlotte Motor Speedway, because about 11,000 people attended a special church service. But never the whole city. People attend the Super Bowl as one of the largest gatherings that occurs in our nation. If you count all those who attend via media, well it probably comes close....Most people in most cities are at least aware of some part of that gathering.  People have found reasons to gather for thousands of years, but in these early years after Christ's death, the city of Antioch asked Paul and Barnabas to teach on the sabbath about Jesus, and almost the whole city came to hear what they said.  Note, the people asked that these men would teach them.  

Notably, Paul and Barnabas taught Jesus fulfilling Jewish prophecy, from a strictly Jewish point of view. Earlier in the chapter, these men quoted verses from the old scripture and from Psalms specifically twice.  Why would the Gentiles of Antioch care? Jewish teachers had made it well known that they expected God to send a special prophet, to do mighty things for thier people. Some believed he would become King. Maybe, the people of Antioch were curious to know more of the story directly from someone who was close to the situation. It was news. Maybe the story of someone raised from the dead might draw a crowd....but I think it was verse 38:

Be it known unto you therefore, men and brethren, that through this man is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins.

Younger people won't remember the years when Billy Graham came to town, and huge crowds gathered to hear him give his simple message. It was always direct and simple and to the point. Much like the apostles when they went into any town. I was struck by the brevity of Pauls message to the Jews at Antioch. He covered time from their earliest history, to their present day in the most incredible outline that might ever have been put to a sermon. The story drew crowds in every town, and according to Acts 12: 24

...the word of God grew and multiplied.

Many Jews believed, yet many didn't.  That's reasonable, don't you think.  Kind of like politics, when half the people think one way and half are on the opposite side. What was remarkable was the fact that people around the world who were never taught to expect a Lord and King, who didn't necessarily honor the 10 commandments, or any of the other Jewish laws, cared enough to come hear about Jesus, as Savoir and many accepted him readily, more so than his own people. I never tire of thinking how amazing the spread of that grand old story was.  People were ready to die for their faith with much the same fervency that we as Americans tend to be willing to die to preserve freedom.  There's just something about being "free" ~ from the power of evil men, free to pursue life, free from guilt and sin.  Jesus' story was one of how men could be free in a not so free world.  That's why they came. Everything about the uniqueness of what Jesus' story offered was different than what any "god" had previously presented to men.  This was a story of a God who died in your stead, who released you from bondage, who promised life more abundant...and so much more that was never offered by the religions of serving statues or greedy gods who struck lightning if you disobeyed. This was not a god no one really ever saw. This was the son of God on earth. A God who said "I care about you, and this is how much I care."  Think of how different the story of Jesus was.  And how real. What a gift to mankind and how much WE take that for granted.

I am so thankful today for my Bible, that tells me this lovely story, and how the story was told and told again...and is still being told with the same results.  Even though the whole town doesn't show up to hear, God still seeks any heart that needs to hear it for the first time.  And that -- just sends joy all over my soul.

Thank you Jesus, for a story so wonderful that we never tire of telling it again, and may it never lose its glory to my soul.  In your precious name, AMEN

Blessings on your day, Christi and Jason.  Sending our love from Chattanooga!  Have a marvelous day. I know the wedding will be beautiful.  So excited for you.  Cant wait to see pics.  Allelujah!!!

 

No Longer Blind

In the fifth grade, one of my dearest friends was a precious girl who was blind.  She saw a tiny bit of light and but mostly dark,  very little in images, and no color whatsoever. The result was she was very dependant upon her hearing and perception of space. She had been blind for as long as she could remember, so she didn't feel she had a disability necessarily. During the time I knew her, what I learned was that she had a much deeper awareness of everything around her, and as it related to her than the average person would.  She had an understanding that was profoundly different than and much more valuable than mine. I admired her for her strength and character, and I dearly loved her smile.

Amazing Grace, that old familiar song, says, "I once was lost but now I'm found; was blind but now I see."  We can understand that it means that we once understood and can see in our minds eye something we did not understand or see before we were saved, once the Spirit opened our eyes to the truth of our Savoir. But unless you have known a blind person, it is difficult to know the depths of that saying. My friend, Judy, knew she was approaching a doorway because of the sound that was coming through the opeining. Close your eyes one day and walk down the hallway of your home.  Notice how there is little to no sound while you are passing by the wall, but as you pass an open door, there will be almost unperceivable sound....unless you aren't listening. Judy said she learned that in every new situation she counted her steps between doorways by listening for that sound.  In case there was something like the noise of a crowd to drown out that sound next time she needed to know where the door was. Judy's sense of  perception was heightened in ways I never could imagine. She recognized people not just by their voice, but by their smell, and the heigth of the shadow they cast.

Before Paul was saved, he resisted because he thought he was being obedient and serving God with passion. He was dedicated to his religion to say the least.  He wanted to please God and the men he served.  And he was good at it.  But a day came when God got his attention, and forced him to see Jesus with a new and deeper perception.  Something more than what many around him could see. God made him temporarily blind so he would have to stop and see truth with something other than his conditioned senses.  To hear, and see, and feel and understand what he was missing.

And he was 3 days without sight...Acts 9:9

Ananias, putting his hands on him said, Brother Saul, the Lord, even Jesus, who appeared to you in the way..has sent me that you might receive your sight , and be filled with the Holy Ghost. And, immediately there fell from is eyes...scales, and he received his sight... arose and was baptised. Acts 9: 17, 18 (condensed)

We all know the story, of how much Saul changed, including his name which became Paul, in part, so people would not relate him to the evil monster he had been.  Sometimes fervency and well intentioned service, even done for God goes astray, because it is done out of human will rather spiritual vision.  I serve a Savoir who asks me to let him show me the things of a spiritual realm, things available to all who will allow God to open their hearts to be sensitive to the imperceptible. Our world is actually blind to truth, and we must first turn off the world and listen for the open doors. Then counting our steps, prepare for the din of the world to attempt to drown out the still small sound that makes navigating in this world as Christians possible.

Lord help me to be the same kind of Christian that Judy was as a blind person. Make my understanding profoundly different and more valuable than it would otherwise be. Help me be strong and of good character and full of joy, just as she was.  So many people see Christianity as a disaility, but help us demonstrate the value of knowing Christ, and being filled with your Spirit as having perception beyond that of common men and women.  Give us this Grace of uncommon vision, of new sight, a deeper awareness of your presence. In Jesus name, AMEN 

 

A Psalm of Praise — Psalm 146

¹ Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord, my soul.

² I will praise the Lord all my life;
    I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
³ Do not put your trust in princes,
    in human beings, who cannot save.
⁴ When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
    on that very day their plans come to nothing.
⁵ Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob,
    whose hope is in the Lord their God.

⁶ He is the Maker of heaven and earth,
    the sea, and everything in them—
    he remains faithful forever.
⁷ He upholds the cause of the oppressed
    and gives food to the hungry.
The Lord sets prisoners free,
⁸     the Lord gives sight to the blind,
the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down,
    the Lord loves the righteous.
⁹ The Lord watches over the foreigner
    and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
    but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.

¹⁰ The Lord reigns forever,
    your God, O Zion, for all generations.

Praise the Lord.

—Psalm 146

The Seven Spirits of God

Have you run across the reference to the 7 Spirits of God lately?  I hadn't in a while, but when I saw it with references and notes written all around it, I realized I must have once known a little about it.  The Bible itself, mentions this several times directly. Revelation 3:1, 4:5 and 5:6. All add dimension to this concept, or rather person of the trinity.  But the verse that actually tells us what are the seven spirits of God is in Isaiah. I love this verse!

And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom, and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD. Isaiah 11:2

Doesn't that describe all the things the Holy Spirit is for us? Now if you counted, you might have left one out, just like I did the first time. The one that is all important is the spirit of God himself.  This is a unique spirit which isn't a description of how he engages with us, but who he is, when he engages with us - the essence of God with us, and endwelling us. One is the number which represents the "one true God" in scripture numerics.  It is as I said, the one who represents the part of God, which is large enough to be present in all of the earth at once, and small enough to indwell the essence of who we are. He is the anchor, of relationship development between God and man.

 But the number of spirits left are 6 and that is the number of man.  In some references, the number 6 carries negative representations of man, and involve judgement, or a warning to not follow the direction of man while ignoring the plans of God .  But in this case, it simply describes the number of ways God is able to reach you.  He deals with your mind, heart and spirit. Both physically and spiritually.  We sometimes have a bit of difficulty helping people understand a triune God, much less a 7 fold spirit, unless we don't over complicate it.  It just means that the God who indwells us is able to become one with us and deal with our needs on every level. He is multi-faceted. Like a six sided nut on a screw.  He fits  in such a way as to become one with us, and surrounds us completely, with his six sides. He has the ability to pair himself to our very deepest needs.  On every level, he is involved in knowing and helping us completely.

 By the way, the number 7 is the number of completeness - being finished, whole, total and all of the synonyms that would mean "complete". He makes us complete. I love that the Word uses numbers sometimes. One, it gets my attention, and two, it speaks to my analytical self.  Somehow God knew that I would need a Spirit who could quench my thirst - for numbers being a building block, to understand so many things. . He is so good.

I will let you find the other references from Revelation.  What special nook in your being does the Spirit of God fill?

Thank you so much God for being everything I need, even the quirky things about me.  You loved me before you knew me. And you knew my needs before you fashioned me.  Praises to the Father, the Son, and the Seven Spirits of God. In Jesus Name on whom you dwelt, AMEN

Obsession or Service?

Being Godly is not an obsession.  One of the traps of living a legalistic godliness is that it becomes an obsession. The more you believe you must adhere to a divine set of rules, the more you believe you fail.  This is a cruel cyclic truth that can destroy the lives of many well intended servants of God.  In an effort to not fail God, one, who is afraid of failing, works ever harder not to. The result is a servitude to a set of rules, or a way of life, not a
living God. The person may even be falsely sustained by believing they are becoming better in God’s eyes the harder they try.

And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction. 1 Corinthians 7:35

Yes, we make ourselves available for service to him, but in the way a mother would serve her child.  Not like a slave would fear the whipping post.  In I Timothy the obsessed individual is in a war of words which stirs up discord:

…he is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, 1 Timothy 6:4

Paul was so obsessed with doing God’s will, and making people adhere to the law of the Jews that he hunted down Christians before he was saved. In his own words:

Many a time I went from one synagogue to another to have them punished, and I tried to force them to blaspheme. I was so obsessed with persecuting them that I even hunted them down in foreign cities. Acts 26:11

His salvation is the greatest representation of the fact that we are not to be obsessed in serving our savoir. He did the proverbial 180.

We have all become enamored with a new hobby or game, discovery or ability and have spent far too much time with it.  Sometimes, getting to know the “hows and what ifs” of performing within our endeavor can be time  consuming.  It may require intense instruction or research. It may require defining the details. We commit ourselves to the time involved.  It can seem obsessive to others who may not support our endeavor.  There is a point in everything we do, however, when we know if it is consuming real life,  we need to organize our time to realign with a more balanced involvement. We can decide to include or exclude what we’ve learned.  If we are wise, that is.  I have a propensity to obsession.  Being aware of it, makes me sometimes back away from achieving a level which would actually benefit me sometimes.  I back away too soon, that is. I am also slow, so I spend more time learning than most.  One thing I have learned about knowing the difference between being obsessive and being successful at something, is, (rather than pursuing it alone,)

1. to have balanced individuals as companions on the journey, and

2. to see it as a journey, with a goal, not a commandment with a sense of failure if I back off.  

We become obsessed when what we are doing becomes who we are; when what we are doing becomes more important than who we are doing it for, or why we began it in the first place.

 If God is genuinely leading us along a path that will take some time and effort to get there, he will send help along the way if we ask. My problem is that I often forget to ask.  

Lord, today, help us to be able to behave as if saved, not obsessed.  May our service embrace the seeking soul, not build a trap to capture. And free us from anything that turns our service into an obsession. Help us to remember, that we shouldn’t go it alone. Help us not to get bogged down.  Help us not to give up on things you would have us spend time in doing. Help us, when our inadequacy slows us to an obsessive pace. We need people to help define us, encourage us, and sometimes redirect us. Problem is, Lord, sometimes the people I chose tend to lead me into obsession, not away from it. Or the opposite – they have so little patience that they convince me my time is wasted. Send balanced individuals into my life, who will guide me into a more balanced service in everything I do, especially if it is done in your name. I ask this in your precious name, AMEN

***************************************

I wish to thank Christy and Lori, for allowing me to walk this journey by their side.  Both of these ladies use God driven words to help me along the way.  We expose our own hearts to anyone who will read, so that someone else may benefit as we benefit from what God is showing us.  I am uplifted when I know that each of them seeks what Jesus would have them say each time they write.  We may not all struggle the same way, or with the same things, but our struggle is resolved in Jesus by the same Word.  I love that this is one journey where just sharing Jesus is our ultimate blessing and a joy.

The incredible greatness of God's power

i find that certain books of the Bible help me get through very specific seasons in my life. While i don't limit my reading to only one book during a season of my life, i focus on the book that God leads me to (spending most of my time in it). i read and re-read until i feel like God's message is clear and i understand what it is He wants me to learn from His Word so i can apply it to my life. i've been in Ephesians for quite awhile (a few years). It's become one of my favorite books in the Bible to read. This makes sense, as i've been in a state of spiritual growth and awarded spiritual blessings as i pray for spiritual wisdom. 

There are so may verses in Ephesians that are powerful, encouraging, and full of hope, but i want to share just a few with you that i believe are very important to believe and memorize because it's a promise from God that His mighty power is available to us who believe in Him..

I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.—Ephesians 1:19-20

This verse really makes me pause to think about the incredible greatness of God's power. Incredible greatness. i keep coming back to those two words. Being a follower of Christ gives us access to the incredible greatness of His power. 

What i understand this verse to mean is ...

Sick? You have access to the incredible greatness of His healing power.

Weary? You have access to the incredible greatness of His strength.

Guilt-ridden? You have access to the incredible greatness of His forgiveness.

Anxious? You have access to the incredible greatness of peace.

Stressed? You have access to the incredible greatness of His rest.

Broken-hearted? You have access to the incredible greatness of His loving touch.

Lonely? You have access to the incredible greatness of His presence.

Poor? You have access to the incredible greatness of His riches.

Impatient? You have access to the incredible greatness of His patience.

Sad? You have access to the incredible greatness of His healing joy.

Incredible greatness. i find this so humbling. God calls us to come boldly before the throne of grace to find the help me need during times of trouble (Hebrews 4:16). It is at the throne of grace, in the presence of God, that we can ask for the incredible greatness of His power to be manifested in our life. Whether God works a miracle in your favor the moment of asking, or He takes you down a journey to grow spiritually, you can rest assured that God is using His mighty power i your life simply because you called upon Him and believe. 

Incredible greatness. Apply this scripture to your life this week. Believe and watch God work.

Hi, God. Wow, thank you for this scripture that gives me hope and a glimpse of your incredible greatness. It's humbling to know that you make your power available to those who believe in You. i'm really, truly grateful. Plant this scripture deep inside my heart so that i may never be afraid of what lies ahead of me. Darkness cannot be feared when the incredible greatness of your power lights up my path. In Jesus mighty and glorious name, amen!

 

Making things right

This week as I was studying 2 Corinthians 5, I came across these verses:

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.  All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them.”

The word, “reconciled” means “to be made right.”  In other words, when we accept Christ as our Savior, Jesus paid the price for all of our sins.  Our lives have been made right.  What a wonderful promise to a lost world of people who want things to be made right!

After we accept the fact that Jesus bridged the gap between us and God, we then have a role in reaching the lost for Christ.  Scripture calls us, “Ministers of reconciliation.”  Our challenge is to gather the courage to share with others the joy and freedom we experience as Christians.  Our goal is to tell them that reconciliation is there for them too.

My Prayer:  Lord, thank you for the reconciliation that Jesus gave me on the cross.  Thank you for reminding me of my role as a minister of reconciliation to others.  Give us courage to share the message of reconciliation with others.  In Jesus name!

 

REST

 Matthew 11 says that rest for our souls comes from taking on the yoke of service, to join Christ in his yoke.

When I want to rest, I find that resting my mind is the best place to start, because for some reason, if my mind is running races, my body is tight and jittery.  So one thing that works is to read something that has absolutely no value except to entertain.  A magazine that I can gently turn pages and see what is there, then set it aside when I am done. I think that is why they work well in offices where you have to wait on your appointment.

That kind of rest, the kind that lifts the turmoil from your mind and lightens your soul is exactly what Jesus brings to our world, our lives - and he does that in the midst of serving him.  Remember how being at church sometimes takes you away from the work week? Or leading someone to the Lord never seems burdensome? I have a neighbor who often shares her extra food.  She makes extra to share. She always seems so happy when she shows up at my door with her lovely offerings. Serving the Lord should be a light burden. But more than that it should bring rest to our soul.

I remember times when I was attending churches and there was so much going on that I was tired enough to forget my children. I showed up at church one night and slid in the back pew, hoping that the pastor would not call me up to join the choir.  I was so tired. And about time I lay my Bible on the seat beside me, I suddenly felt alone! Oh no!!! I forgot to pick up the children at their after school activities.  I went home, got dressed for church and returned to town, pushing myself to do my duty and be at  church. That is not the kind of service Christ intended. I love when the Word of God assures me one more time that I am not yoked into a burden of sin, or of working my way to God. I don't always need to do what is expected of me, but rather only what Jesus asks of me. Serving Jesus lightens the load.  If someone in your life is adding to the load and claiming it is what God expects, ask if it fits this verse. Put it to the Matthew 11 test.

Jesus doesn't load on fear, or ask us to haul around worry. He discards the past, and picks up the future only when it becomes the present. He hoses off sin from the cart, and puts the old law in its place on the shelf where it belongs. He unloads the burdens. He only loads on love, hope, joy, blessings, freedom. Those fruits of the Spirit are a lighter load on the cart and Jesus joins us to tow it.  I love the joint effort image of yoking myself to Christ. I never have to deal with my ordeal alone. When you are burdened, you often feel the most alone. Yet, Christ remains - always there to pull at least half. He is responsible for the miracle stuff, and I am responsible for going where he leads stuff. If you view a yoke of service as a burden, you are pulling in the wrong yoke.

Like a bench in a garden, Jesus gives a time of rest from every heavy burden. Notice that the image of two yoked together to pull a load works like a bench in a garden which has legs or bases on either end, to support the load in between and is also a place of rest. That's Christ's promise. One he will keep.

Dear Jesus help me to organize the things in life by your rules.  Help me not carry the things that you ask me to put off my load. And please remind me that you are always there, that if I will be yoked to you, I won't waste efforts, but can be your companion to lighten my load. Praises for the promises! AMEN

The Unconditional Love of God is a Gift

Every time i sit in the presence of the Lord, silent and in awe of His great love for me, i experience His peace. And, i have to be honest — i don't understand this whole unconditional love stuff. We live in a world where love is based on certain conditions—where we work, how we look, what clothes we wear, how much money we make .... Unconditional love is a rarity. i believe the only one who can see past our imperfections, faults, bad attitudes, addictions, selfishness, etc. is God.

When i take the time to stop and reflect on the way He loves me unconditionally it nearly brings me to tears because i feel grace and mercy pouring over me. 

And when others can't see past my mess-ups and bad days, God sees the real me. He sees the real you. And He loves us like no one else can. To be loved like that is a priceless gift that no one can take away.

neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. —Romans 8:39

Knowing and believing this means we can live each day powered by the love of Jesus. His love is pure, genuine, and refreshing. Find a quiet place today where you can rest peacefully basking in the love of Christ. Let Him energize your soul. Let His love pour into all the empty spaces in your heart and make you complete. Let His grace wash over you. His love is a gift, receive it with much joy.

Jesus, thank you for your unconditional love. When the world is constantly picking at me and tearing me down, i choose to know that Your love is sufficient. 

In His Image

Christi’s scripture Monday discussing God’s marvelous gift of grace which over rides sin from Adam’s time to present, says that Adam was a likeness of the Christ to come. In verse 14, the translation she reads uses the word “pattern.” (Romans 5:14) This principle of repetition of a theme throughout the Bible, (especially when the theme represents a symbolic picture of Christ so we can know for certain that he fits the pattern,) is one of my favorite ways to study scripture.  Seeing the pictures of Christ is something Christ himself directed his followers to do. He often told them to look back at their own scriptures, which had been taught with extreme dedication to repetition of the things God taught them in the past.  He said that they could see him in the Word.

You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you possess eternal life. These are the very scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life. John 5: 38-40 NIV

Paralleling Romans 5:14 in Biblegateway’s online resource, we see that various translations all use a synonym of the word which we would now call” picture” or “graphic”, but the implication of the writer is that this picture of Christ is repeated throughout time with the same image. It implies the ability to compare scripture with scripture to see how they have an image of Christ hidden within. So my favorite two translations use the words that more define this truth. So I like the word “type in the American Standard and the word “pattern” in the New International Version.  When I write, I often use the term, “type of Christ.”  I am referring to this principle.  

King James says  - who is the “figure” of him that was to come.

American Standard reads – “Type” of Him who was to come.

Today’s New International Version reads – “pattern” of the one to come.

Before reading Christy’s blog, I had been playing with creating graphics by repeating patterns. It occurred to me one night that if I took one eighth of a circle and drew a design along the axis, then repeated the pattern 7 times, it would create a circular design. I have used this concept in art for years, creating scissor cut paper designs, and geometric modern art which was popular in my youth. It is possible to make a pattern from one half and one fourth of the circle but detailed designs are difficult and time consuming. By making details on a smaller portion and allowing the computer to repeat the pattern more times, the resulting finished work is much better, and so much
faster.  So with my head so into making patterns, this word jumped off the page, knowing I was already considering
doing a blog about the pictures of Christ in the scriptures. It is a difficult
concept to get people to see sometimes. But with the Holy Spirit’s guidance, the Bible could look like one
beautiful image of God’s Grace through Christ, one God drew, by repeating the image of him throughout its verses.

All great truths of scripture are repeated throughout. If a pattern is repeated it becomes familiar. Sometimes so much so that we miss the original image for seeing the big picture.  Christ and all of Gods truths are in the details, and are the exact same pattern in every case. From the very beginning, God overcame the sin of man with Grace. Even the shedding of blood was a picture of Christ giving his life for the redemption of ours. Grace supersedes sin to bring new life.

The opposite is the repetition of sin which leads to a spiritual death.  Satan’s desire is that we fall into a pattern of repeating sin, so that it too will become familiar, or falsely beautiful. Think of how any addiction consumes one’s life.  In the beginning it is a beautiful feeling, perhaps, that one repeats, initially with no concern for the imprint it will make on the brain. No one is thingking: this is going to alter how my body and mind will perform.  But the repetition of the original act becomes a pattern, which if continued leads to death. The body cannot live by an addictive pattern. Patterns of habits within themselves aren’t bad.  God made our minds to function by repeating what it learns – walking, blinking, our heart beat, hunger, sleep…almost every action is a repeat of an action learned or built into our DNA.  Therefore, the mind desires to repeat other things… especially biochemical ones. 
Therefore, if the brain has the chemical of nicotine it thinks it is supposed to repeat the act of having nicotine and creates a desire to go get it.  It is a chemical connection, not a decision made, but it occurs due to a decision made to expose the brain to this chemical. The decision to Sin is exactly like that. So something like smoking is a picture, or type of a greater pattern of unnatural things in our life.

Satan took our God given blessing of patterns of life, which speak volumes about who God is, and he turned it against us.  But Satan is not the culprit altogether. We make choices by freewill which kinds of patterns to adopt into our lives.  The scriptures which recommend that we choose to live as God made us also recommend that we choose not to involve ourselves in things that will zap life, both physical and spiritual.  Why is it that people think God is against them? God is for us, and reflected in us.  The smaller elements of our life could reflect the original, the “figure”, “type” of Christ in us…and also, us made in his image. I like to think of myself as a repeat of
the pattern, us - as sons (and daughters) of the living God. Put all Christians together and the whole of the pieces
is the “church.”  From God’s point of view seeing us as a whole, through his grace, we are one beautiful design.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. Genesis 2:27

My Prayer today, Lord, is to ask you to open the spiritual eyes of our readers, to see the image of Christ in the scripures.  But also to see ourselves made in the image of Christ. The pattern of your great plan of life, woven with care and repeated to make something beautiful of our lives.  We praise you for the blessing and gift of Grace. Through that Grace you see us as a beautiful reflection of Christ, and a part of the circle of life as you intended it.  If only we could see the picture of how you planned our life.  Maybe we would do more to seek to be involved in the plan. Love you more every day, dear savoir. AMEN